Read Minutes Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

364 Results for Read Minutes

View 1 - 10 results for read minutes comic strips. Discover the best "Read Minutes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2002's comic on:

Tags #minutes, #meeting, #read minutes, #irrelevant things said, #men are idiots, #bad descions, #implied, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #powerpoint, #waste time, #slow motion, #read, #project emu, #tie, #pull, #yank, #strangle, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."

Device Can Read Minds

Thank you for voting.
Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2018's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #device, #read, #thoughts, #turn, #computer, #commands, #theories, #engineer, #engineering, #invention, #nothing, #broken

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2012's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #late for meeting, #reschedule, #10 minutes, #late

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2012's comic on:

Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2012's comic on:

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1989's comic on:

Tags #poetry, #poem, #monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my new poem?" Dogbert replies, "I once read that given infinite time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare." Dilbert asks, "But what about MY poem?" Dogbert replies, "Three monkeys, ten minutes."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #blanket, #book, #writing, #read, #tv guide, #pudding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow and thinks, "Maybe I should write a book." Dogbert thinks, "Nah . . . Maybe I should just read a book." Dogbert thinks as he walks through the house, "Maybe I'll just read the tv guide . . . Maybe I'll just watch whatever's on and turn into pudding . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1989's comic on:

Tags #accident, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sixty minutes, #people, #Dogs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #racket, #singing, #greens, #blues, #darned, #depressing, #slept, #ten, #minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow playing a guitar. Dilbert asks, "What's all the racket?" Dogbert replies, "I'm singing the 'greens.'" Dilbert asks, "Is that like the 'blues?'" Dogbert replies, "Same beat, just not so darned depressing." Dogbert sings, "Oooh . . . My car needs a tune up and I overslept ten minutes baaabee . . ."