Search Results for "reading email"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #revenue projections, #email, #reading email, #song, #multi task, #stupid nbinder, #slow down, #comprehend, #reading goes quickly

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Alice enters Bob's office and asks, "Bob, can I have your revenue projections?" Bob replies, "No. I'm reading my e-mail. I can't do two things at once." Bob turns and says, "But I offer you this song instead." Bob dances and sings, "Ooh-waa-waa! I'm single-task Bob. I'm single-task Bob." Bob continues dancing and singing, "I can't multitask. I can only do one job." Alice yells, "Just give me the stupid binder that on your desk!!" Bob sits back down with his arms on his hips and says, "Sure. And I guess my e- mail can just read itself, right?" Once Alice leaves, Bob says to himself, "Reading goes quickly when you don't slow down to comprehend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #debates, #discussion, #ognorant, #arrogant, #reading comprehension, #logic

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Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company sadist, #forwarded email, #email insulted, #interesting theory

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The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."

The Long Email

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The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

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Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

Tell Me What Was In The Email

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Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #email, #laziness, #attention, #detail, #tldr

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Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

Wally Doesn't Open Email

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Wally Doesn't Open Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #aversion, #avoiding, #communication, #email, #evasion, #excuse, #work ethic

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Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.

Answering Questions In Email

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Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions

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Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.

Boss Email Password

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Boss Email Password - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy

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Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #coupons, #email, #firewall, #malicious complience, #downside, #dogs of hell

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Boss: Mordac, I'm not getting the coupons by email that I signed up for. Can you dial back the firewall or something? Mordac: Absolutely. There's nothing I enjoy more than malicious compliance with your requests. Boss: Is there any downside? Mordac: UNLEASH THE DOGS OF HELL!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #fraternization, #friendship, #new engineer, #ginat dork, #star wars chess set, #email, #set up date, #romantic preference, #relationships

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Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.