Real No Brainer Comic Strips
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183 Results for Real No Brainer
View 1 - 10 results for real no brainer comic strips. Discover the best "Real No Brainer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 12,
2001
Tags #donut head, #face, #hole, #hole in head, #man is brief, #no face, #real no brainer, #resume, #blank paper
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk with a piece of paper in front of him and says, "Frankly, the job is a real no-brainer." A person with a huge hole in their head sits in front of the desk as the Boss continues, "Your resume is a blank piece of paper. I like a man who can be brief." The man with the hole in his head sits between Wally and Dilbert. Wally is eating a donut and coffee. Wally turns to the man and says, "You're ruining my donut experience."
Monday April 11,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?
Saturday February 19,
2011
Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude
Transcript
Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."
Friday October 14,
2011
Tags #debates, #discussion, #researching every state, #engineer, #solemn duty, #stamp out ignorance, #real thing, #googled it, #engineering
Transcript
Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.
Tuesday May 15,
2012
Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.
Tuesday April 18,
1989
Tags #homeless persons, #real estate, #less fortunate
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to dedicate my life to the less fortunate." Dilbert replies, "That's very noble of you, Dogbert. Will you be working with the homeless, or perhaps the hungry?" Dogbert replies, "I thought I'd start with people who didn't buy real estate in the 70's . . . Maybe work my way up to that other stuff."
Tuesday April 03,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #subsidary, #communism, #capitalism, #economics, #appreciation, #real world, #engineers
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."
Wednesday December 19,
1990
Tags #dog, #chief, #oppose, #obscene, #lyrics, #broadcasts, #real, #words, #italian
Transcript
A man at TBC says, "We got a complaint letter from a dog, chief." The man continues, "He claims to represent fifty million dogs who oppose the 'obscene' lyrics of our opera broadcasts." A man at a desk says, "Obscene? They don't even sing real words." The man replies, "Apparently it's Italian, sir."
Thursday December 20,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #senator, #issue, #working, #real, #problems
Transcript
Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"
Thursday July 05,
2012
Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face
Transcript
Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.