Search Results for "recycling bins"
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Friday December 23,
2011
Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies
Transcript
Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.
Friday September 10,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Sunday December 12,
2010
Tags #train mailroom guy, #worthjless, #unimportant, #email, #shovel emails, #recycling bins, #clean desk
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."
Wednesday January 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #agenda, #discussion, #paper, #recycling, #program, #drawback
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."
Sunday December 19,
1993
Tags #time machine, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #recycling, #trash
Transcript
Dilbert kneels in front of a machine. He tells Dogbert, "My time machine is complete." Dogbert says, "I guess you'll be off to explore exotic and fascinating civilizations." Dilbert asks, "Why would anybody want to do that?" Dogbert replies, "Beats me." Dilbert says, "My plan is to send all of our trash to ourselves twenty years from now. We'll have much better recycling methods by then." Dilbert puts a bag of trash into the time machine and says, "I wonder what elegant methods we'll have for recycling in the future." Dilbert continues, "I bet we'll have a way that's quick and efficient and . . ." Dogbert asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." They hear a "ping." Dilbert and Dogbert stand among several bags of trash. Dilbert says, "We would send it back in time and wait for it to decompose." Dogbert says, "I hate us."
Monday September 21,
1998
Tags #under arrest, #stealing boxes, #recycling goals, #reuse, #recycle, #cell, #locked up, #cubicle
Transcript
Catbert stands in the doorway of the copy room. Wally holds a cardboard box. Catbert says, "You're under arrest for stealing empty cardboard boxes!" Catbert says, "The company needs those boxes to meet its recycling goals." Wally says, "But reuse is better than recycling." Wally stands in his cubicle which now has a prison door. Catbert walks away. Wally stares through the bars. Wally thinks, "There's got to be a way out of this cell." The cubicle walls are barely higher than Wally's head.
Saturday October 20,
2007
Tags #security consultant, #suspicious behavior, #beat him, #death, #trash can, #recycle bins, #ask question, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "Be on the lookout for any suspicious behavior." "If you see a guy do something that you wouldn't do, beat him to death with a trash can." The Boss: "Can we use recycle bins?" Asok: "I wouldn't have asked that question."
Wednesday June 07,
2000
Tags #emails, #love emails, #threats of firing, #dating boss, #regrets
Transcript
Mordac types a message to Ming. "Dearest Ming, My love for you is boundless. Mordac" Mordac continues his message. "P.S. If you don't stop putting food garbage in the recycling bin you will be terminated." Ming says to Dilbert after reading Mordacs message, "Never date your boss." Dilbert replies, confused "Okay."
Sunday January 10,
1999
Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses
Transcript
Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."
Wednesday January 14,
2004
Tags #airport security, #epidural layer, #plastic bag, #federal crime, #airport tsa, #hassle, #terrorists, #airlines, #bins, #line, #xrays
Transcript
Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"