Relative Comic Strips

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9 Results for Relative

View 1 - 9 results for relative comic strips. Discover the best "Relative" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #built a spreadsheet, #relative qualities, #twenty percent, #stop dating, #wrong formula, #higher math skills, #error intentional, #batch of flowers

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Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #renewed psychologist, #peak performance, #relative, #dysfunctional team, #realistic goals, #postpone canibalsim

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Dogbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired renowned psychologist Dogbert to help us achieve peak performance in teamwork." Dogbert says, "Peak performance is somewhat relative. You're a highly dysfunctional team, so we must set realistic goals." The Boss asks, "What would be a realistic goal for us?" Dogbert answers, "I think I can postpone cannibalism."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #happiness not realted, #level of wealth, #relative wealth, #good job

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"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich

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Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #apps, #fantasy, #mental prison, #escaping, #running a start up

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Wally: I'm escaping the mental prison of this job by creating apps in my mind and fantasizing about running a start-up. Gaaa!!! The start-up is too much work! The stress is killing me! Take me back to my prison! I'm back. Did I say anything embarrassing? Dilbert: It's all relative.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pulling rank, #vice president, #teaching himself banjo, #wait in hallway, #offcie, #feet on desk, #making wait

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CEO: Im running late. But since Im a Vice president. you'll have to wait in the hallway. You'll be able to judge your relative worth by observing what thing I do while you wait. Dilbert: He's teaching himself banjo.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #face time, #promotion paper work, #send photos, #vp

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit outside. Dogbert says, "If you want to get promoted, you need lots of "face time" with your V.P." Dogbert says, "I recommend sending photos of yourself every week." A male boss sits at his desk holding photographs. The boss says, "More photos... he must be a relative." The secretary says, "I'll start the promotion paperwork."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #secret to success, #keeping things simple, #absolute, #realtive, #alternatives

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Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.