Remove Tongue Comic Strips
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74 Results for Remove Tongue
View 1 - 10 results for remove tongue comic strips. Discover the best "Remove Tongue" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 26,
2008
Tags #job interview, #fat and lazy, #safe working, #thrive on abuse, #complain, #remove tongue, #begging, #desparate
Transcript
Albanian: If you hire me, I will do all the jobs that the people born in this country are too fat and lazy to do. I don't require a safe working environment, and I thrive on abuse! The Boss: Do you complain much?" Albanian: I'll remove my own tongue and give it to you in a pickle jar for boss's day.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday June 30,
2011
Tags #apps, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new smartphone, #tongue on flagpole, #victime of good marketing, #voice reception
Transcript
Carol: Check out my new smartphone! The voice receptions is a bit weak, but I can usually make a call if I keep my tongue on a flagpole. Alice: You might be a victim of good marketing. Carol: It has apps!
Saturday December 03,
2011
Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own
Transcript
News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,
Thursday December 07,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #strange, #post office, #wall, #stick, #tongue
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Do you ever feel like doing something really strange?" Dogbert continues, "Sometimes I get the urge to break into the post office at night and lick all the stamps." Dilbert says, "Well . . . That's not TOO strange." Dogbert continues, "Then I would see how long I can stick to the wall by my tongue."
Wednesday August 21,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #kidding, #honored, #flunky, #tongue, #washing, #windows, #ethic, #dead
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "I'm rich now, Bob. Would you like a job as my flunky?" Bob replies, "Wow! Are you kidding? I'd be honored! I've always aspired to be a flunky!" Bob licks a windowpane and says, "I'll start by tongue-washing the windows!" Dogbert says, "Who says the work ethic is dead?"
Friday September 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #read, #sculpt, #elephant, #start, #chunk, #marble, #remove, #everything
Transcript
Dilbert holds a chisel and other carving tools. A block of marble sits on a stand under a picture of an elephant. Dilbert says to Dogbert who sits on a stool watching, "I've read that it's easy to sculpt an elephant . . ." Dilbert continues, "You just start with a chunk of marble and remove everything that doesn't look like an elephant." Later, Dilbert stares at the chips of marble that remain on the stand. Dilbert thinks, "Apparently, this chunk of marble didn't have an elephant in it."
Monday November 04,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #pencil, #electric, #sharpener, #excalibert, #whoever, #remove, #ceo, #co-worker
Transcript
Dilbert says to a man, "Somebody left a pencil in the electric sharpener." The man replies, "That's 'Excalibert.'" The man continues, "Legend has it that whoever can remove Excalibert from the sharpener will become CEO." Dilbert removes the pencil and asks, "Like this?" A beam of light shines down on the pencil.
Saturday April 16,
1994
Tags #makeup, #real bother, #a lot of work, #admit, #remove old makeup, #bowling alley
Transcript
Woman: Ive never minded putting makeup on, but its a real bother to take it off. Dilbert: That seems like a lot of work, I must admit. But I still think its better to remove the old stiff. Woman: Its only a problem at the bowling alley.
Saturday December 16,
1995
Tags #conquer the world, #secret handshake, #identify people, #new ruling class, #stick out tongue, #vinously slp, #face, #slap
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the couch backrest and Ratbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "When I conquer the world I'll have a secret handshake to identify the people who will be part of my new ruling class." Dogbert says, "Cross your eyes and stick out your tongue. Good, now vigorously slap your face." As Ratbert slaps himself, Dogbert says, "The people who aren't doing that will be identified as my new ruling class."
Sunday August 26,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculated, #average, #mouthful, #percent, #salters, #necessarily, #tongue, #crackers, #Food, #salty
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "You shouldn't salt your food before tasting it." Dogbert replies, "It's a calculated risk . . ." Dogbert explains, "The average mouthful of food is five percent of the total serving." Dogbert continues, "So timid salters eat five percent of almost every meal with too little salt . . ." Dogbert continues, "Because only one time in a thousand is food too salty to begin with." Dogbert concludes, "Therefore, over a lifetime you experience almost five percent less salt-related happiness than I do." Dilbert replies, "Not necessarily. I usually salt my tongue after the first swallow."