Replace Pencils Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

81 Results for Replace Pencils

View 1 - 10 results for replace pencils comic strips. Discover the best "Replace Pencils" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee suggestions, #harmless, #stupud, #theorym, #replace pencils

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #meetings, #succession plan, #awesome and charismatic, #replace you, #bag of moss

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #performance, #job, #pencils, #Right, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I decided to recognize you for your job performance." The Boss continues, "So I named one of my pencils after you." Dilbert says, "Gosh. Is that it right there?" The Boss replies, "No. That's my good pencil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #glumb, #Dogbert, #lonely, #entertain, #dance, #Number, #bond, #replace, #dancing, #rat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Ratbert stands on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why are you so glum?" Dilbert replies, "It's lonely when Dogbert is away." Ratbert says as he dances, "Lonely? Ha! Let me entertain you with a little dance number. Then we'll bond and I'll replace Dogbert as your best friend!" Ratbert dances and signs "Kumbaya." Dilbert says, "Now I'm lonely and I have a dancing rat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #bring own pencils, #sell them, #sidewalk, #beg for money, #money down

View Transcript

Transcript

"Profits are down again this quarter." "That's bad." "Starting tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own pencils to the office." "That's bad." "And you'll have to sell them out on the sidewalk." "That's bad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #lucky, #replace you, #same scale, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I'm so lucky to be dating you, Liz. You're at least an eight." Liz responds, "You're a ten." Dilbert and Liz sit looking at the mountains in silence. Dilbert asks, "Are we using the same scale?" Liz responds, "Ten is the number of seconds it would take to replace you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inexplicable, #low cost, #system, #underpowered, #replace, #another vendors, #upgrade fees, #big a fool, #lease option

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "It's inexplicable, but the low-cost system I sold you seems to be woefully under-powered." Dogbert continues, "You could replace it with another vendor's system, thus showing everybody you make a mistake. Or you can pay my outrageous upgrade fees." The Boss asks, "How big a fool do you think I am?" Dogbert replies, "I won't know until I see if you go for the lease option."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web pages, #urls, #replace urls, #uniform resource locators

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sitting at computer terminal while The Boss gripes, "I don't see why our web pages need URLs. Get rid of them." The Boss, in a unsure manner, says, "Did that make any sense?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, it's brilliant." Dilbert says, "Give me a month and I'll replace our URLs with uniform resource locators." The Boss clinches his fist and says, "Perfect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp stalks alice, #bouquet, #pencils, #fire secreatry, #vp, #no flowers

View Transcript

Transcript

VP Stalks Alice VP: I brought you a bouquet, Alice. Alice: Thats a bunch of pencils, not a flower bouquet. VP: Really? May I use your phone? I need to fire my secretary.