Replaced By Hammer Comic Strips
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63 Results for Replaced By Hammer
View 1 - 10 results for replaced by hammer comic strips. Discover the best "Replaced By Hammer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 03,
2013
Tags #children, #ignorance (knowledge), #replaced by robot, #replaced by hammer, #ugly, #furniture, #Family
Transcript
Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.
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Wednesday October 28,
2015
If All You Have Is A Hammer
Thursday January 27,
2011
Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Saturday September 09,
1989
Tags #irrational, #windshield, #Dilbert, #shake, #hammer, #car
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Friday October 05,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #clone, #Dilbert, #arm, #hammer, #creature, #disgusting
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"
Wednesday October 12,
1994
Tags #key boards replaced, #motion sensing, #computer screen, #3d image, #technical professionals, #engineer, #moron, #engineering
Transcript
"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."
Sunday October 13,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Kids, #school, #president, #united states, #basic, #knowledge, #north america, #sarcasm, #Trivia, #sense, #m.c. hammer, #pitiful, #shocking, #important
Transcript
Dilbert holds a microphone and says to the reader, "Why are kids so dumb? Have the schools failed? Let's talk to a typical youth." Dilbert asks a boy, "Who was the sixth president of the United States?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert asks, "How will he ever get a job without this basic knowledge?" Dilbert asks, "What is the deepest lake in North America?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert says to the audience, "Pitiful . . . Shocking . . ." The child asks Dilbert, "Who is M. C. Hammer?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know, but it's not important. It's trivia." The boy says, "Oh, I see. What YOU know is important, but what I know is trivia. Yes, yes, it all makes sense now." Dilbert asks, "Is that sarcasm?" The boy replies, "D-uhh."
Thursday July 23,
1998
Tags #real boss, #prison tube, #spaceship, #wear shorts, #quality of work, #replaced by alien, #boss is alien, #no one knows
Transcript
Alien The Boss, with his tail wagging behind him, walks through the office thinking, "No one really suspects that the real Boss is on a prison tube on my spaceship." Asok the Intern asks, "Is it okay if I wear shorts?" Alien The Boss responds, "Sure. I only care about the quality of your work." Asok, Alice, and Dilbert eating lunch. Asok asks, "If our boss were replaced by an alien, would that be such a bad thing?" Dilbert replies, "It depends on the alien."
Friday July 24,
1998
Tags #boss replaced, #highly intelligent alien, #held captive, #hideous aliem prison, #just an observation
Transcript
Dogbert sitting on the couch. Dilbert sitting on floor. Dilbert says, "Apparently my boss has been replaced by a highly intelligent alien." Dilbert faces Dogbert and continues, "That means my real boss is being held captive in some sort of hideous alien prison." Dogbert asks, "What do you plan to do about it?" Dilbert replies, "It was just an observation."
Monday March 22,
1999
Tags #Dilbert, #hammer head bob, #im boring, #no way, #end conversation
Transcript
You're getting a visit from Hammer head Bob! I can't tell when Im boring, I might be boring now and I don't even know it, There's no way to end a conversation with me; I'll follow you to the bathroom. Dilbert: Im nailed.