Reply Function Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

51 Results for Reply Function

View 1 - 10 results for reply function comic strips. Discover the best "Reply Function" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heres card, #email, #address, #eighty characters, #meaningless, #reply function

View Transcript

Transcript

A man hands Dilbert a business card and says, "Thanks for the meeting. Here's my card." Dilbert reads the card and says, "You call that an e-mail address? It's eighty characters long and mostly meaningless." The caption says, "People with embarrassing e-mail systems . . ." Four people sit in a circle. A woman says, "I tell people, 'The reply function doesn't work. You have to type in my address.'" The man thinks, "Loser."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email service problem, #no email, #phone call, #playing with tech support, #three computers, #web function, #account information

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer at home. He says into the telephone, "Look, I have three computers in the house. All three simultaneously lost e-mail but not web function." He continues, shaking his fist in the air, "That means the problem is in your e- mail service. Can you grasp that concept?" Dilbert is laying on the couch with a cup of coffee. He says into the phone, "Okay. I'm re-entering my account information... Hey, guess what? That didn't work either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #i.t function, #outsource, #save money, #corporations, #full time employees, #reaplce, #panic, #warning sound

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a slide and says, "We'll save money by outsourcing our I.T. function." The Boss continues, "Then we'll save more money by replacing our outsourcing with full-time employees!" Wally responds, "When it's time for us to panic, will there be a warning sound, or was that it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #respond email, #reply, #vicious cycle, #voice mails

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "You don't respond to my e-mail anymore." The Boss replies, "When I reply to e-mail, it attracts more e-mail. I'm trying to break the vicious cycle." Dilbert says, "Well.. I'll leave you voice-mails." The Boss answers, "Let me know how that works out for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product designer, #function, #design, #everything, #quality, #news, #emotional impact, #hard to look at

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keyword search function, #languages, #friulian, #kataang, #marry you, #topper, #feature creep

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Versus the Feature Creep "We need to add a keyword search function." "That's nothing!" "It should also search in different languages including Friulian, Kataang, Horpa and Wagi." "I like your style." "That's nothing! I want to marry you in a civil union."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #health insurance, #surgery, #dog nose, #veterinarian, #lunch time, #eat, #engineer, #function, #rationalize, #medical, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surplussed ted, #absorb function, #2 jobs one salary, #absorb his funtion, #osmosis, #symbiosis, #syneregy, #key learning, #tragic series, #monkey brained

View Transcript

Transcript

"I surplussed Ted. You'll need to absorb his function." "Absorb his function?" "Are you telling me to do two jobs for one salary?" "No, I'm telling you to absorb his function.. in an absorptive fashion." "..Using osmosis, symbiosis, and synergy." "Can you change reality by inventing new names for ordinary things?" "I sure hope so. Otherwise my entire career has been a.. a.." "Tragic series of monkey-brained mistakes?" "Key learning."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disturbing news, #outsourced, #customer service function, #india, #subcontracted, #jobs to mexico, #lowest cost provider, #pay ourselves

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have some disturbing news." "We outsourced our customer-service function to India a few years ago." "So?" "Apparently, they subcontracted the job to Mexico." "Then Mexico subcontracted to Vietnam, who subcontracted to the Philippines.." "..Who subcontracted it to us." "It turns out that we're the lowest-cost provider because we lie about our hold times." "In summary, we pay ourselves to hose ourselves." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "We should raise our prices?"