Report Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

168 Results for Report

View 1 - 10 results for report comic strips. Discover the best "Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2017's comic on:

Tags #evidence, #excuses, #hackers, #hacking, #laziness, #assignment, #elbonians, #a, #zing report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #nuclear, #power, #project, #inspection, #report

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1990's comic on:

Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1990's comic on:

Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mr. tidy, #rid, #finished, #report, #mr. boss, #thief, #produced, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't worry. If it's true that an impostor is trying to steal your job, I'll get rid of him at once." Dilbert points at a man with an eyepatch, a mohawk haircut and clothes like Dilbert's. Dilbert says, "There he is! And he doesn't even look like me!" The robber replies, "I finished the report." Dilbert says, "There's only room for one Dilbert!!" The Boss reads the report and says, "But this one actually produced something . . ."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #cbs, #news, #press, #converence, #announce, #anti-gravity, #discovery, #suntan, #lotion, #science, #report, #interview, #string, #bikini

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert floats through the house with a propeller strapped to his back. He says into the phone, "CBS News? Yes, I'd like to call a press conference to announce my anti-gravity discovery . . ." Dilbert says into the telephone, "Science isn't news?! But you did that investigative report on suntan lotion last year . . ." Dilbert says, "No, I don't think I could do the interview in a string bikini."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #report, #reading, #anything, #sit, #feeling, #bottles, #beer, #wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk thinking, "I sit here motionless while the Boss reads my report." Dilbert thinks, "I can't talk while he's reading, and I don't have anything of my own to read . . ." The Boss reads the report and thinks, "I wonder how long I can make him sit there feeling uncomfortable?" Dilbert sings to himself, "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #report, #work, #porto-shredder, #necktie, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my report. It's some of my best work." The Boss puts the report through a portable shredder that is hanging around his neck. Dilbert says, "I hate that porto-shredder." The Boss asks, "Say, is that a silk necktie?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1992's comic on:

Tags #god, #language, #report, #Dilbert, #tim, #monkey, #incan, #awful, #write, #lucky, #translate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Tim, "Gee, Tim, you look awful." Tim replies, "I've been working for five days without any sleep to finish this report." Tim's clothes are disheveled and he has circles under his eyes. Tim continues, "At first I had a mental block. But on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write." Dilbert replies, "Wow, lucky break." Tim says, "Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language."