Resist Free Stuff Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

413 Results for Resist Free Stuff

View 1 - 10 results for resist free stuff comic strips. Discover the best "Resist Free Stuff" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #habitual liar, #ordered on internet, #resist free stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Karl, you're a habitual liar but these pills that I ordered over the internet will cure you." Karl: "I've never lied in my life, but I can't resist free stuff." Dilbert: "Um... Are you alive?" Karl: "Never felt better!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trade show, #free stuff, #cheap pens, #eye contact, #hit buffet

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "At the trade show." Wally asks a man at a booth, "What kind of free stuff do you have?" Wally opens a shopping bag and says, "Cheap pens? That's original. Okay, fill 'er up. But I'm afraid I can't give you any eye contact." Wally walks away holding a bag of free stuff and thinking, "That's enough industry research for today. It's time to hit the buffet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trump, #free stuff, #resources, #free samples, #rich people, #marketing campaign

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I create a marketing campaign if my boss doesn't give me any resources? Dogbert: "Try giving free samples to people who look like celebrities." Dilbert: "And you would be?" TRUMP: "Donald trump. Give me some free stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut budget, #technology installation, #adequate budget, #unethical vendors, #huge purchase, #free stuff, #no hidden costs, #huge purchase later

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dried up head, #evil director, #free stuff, #hr, #inquiry, #trouble saying no

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Is there a company sponsored program for regrowing my lost soul? CatBert: No, but I'd be happy to bat your dried-up head until it snaps off. Dilbert: I have trouble saying no to free stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exhibitions, #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #chat me up, #mammary filter, #trade show, #free stuff, #job orders

View Transcript

Transcript

At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

View Transcript

Transcript

"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

Free Will Is An Illusion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #estate plan, #inherit stuff, #option, #powerful incentive, #saving & investment, #wills, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.