Restaurant Trip Comic Strips
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Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "We're waiting for Ted, then we can head for the restaurant." Wally says, "While we're waiting, I'll return a few phone calls." Ted walks up and says, "Let's go! Hey, where's Wally?" Dilbert thinks, "The chain reaction has begun." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Why can't we do this simple thing?" Alice says, "I'll be in the ladies' room." Wally asks, "Where's Alice?" Ted says, "I've got to mail a letter. I'll take my car and meet you there." Wally thinks, "I can make some calls." Dilbert yells at Ted, "You're the only one who knows which restaurant we're going to!" Ted replies, "Alice knows where it is. Tell her it's the one with the food." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Has your team finished engineering the new missile guidance chip?" Dilbert replies, "I think it's time to give peace a chance."
Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?
Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.
Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a hat, walk into Scaparotti's Restaurant. There is a sign in the window that says, "No pets." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just try to act human." Dilbert says to the waiter, "Two ravioli supremes and garlic bread." Dogbert adds, "And a cat . . ." Dilbert says, "That's 'catsup,' my friend would like some CATSUP." Dogbert says, "Maybe something Siamese."
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."
Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."
Dilbert is tied up and hanging upside down. A demonlike clerk says to him, "You spent nearly $10 per day on meals during your trip." The clerk continues, "The travel guidelines require you to stun a pigeon with your briefcase on the way to the hotel then fry it up on your travel iron." Dilbert responds, "I tried . . . but it was taking so long." The clerk suggests, "Try the 'wool' setting."
Dilbert and Dogbert enter a restaurant called "Chez de Whales." Dilbert says, "This is a very fancy place, Dogbert, so don't embarrass me." Dilbert tells the maitre d', "Uh . . . Two please. Non-smoking." The maitre d' replies, "I'm afraid, monsieur, that jackets are required." The maitre d' says, "You may wear these complimentary house jackets while you dine." The maitre d' continues, "You must also wear these beaver hats and clown feet." Dilbert and Dogbert put on the jackets and hats. The maitre d' says, "Next time messieurs will remember their jackets." Dogbert says, "Looks like we narrowly avoided embarrassment."
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I'm sending you to Elbonia to inspect our factory." He says, "Fill out a trip justification form for my approval." Alice strikes a thoughtful pose, rubs her chin and says, "So, I need your approval to do what you told me to do?" The Boss says, "It will not be unreasonably withheld."