Retirement Planning Comic Strips
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129 Results for Retirement Planning
View 1 - 10 results for retirement planning comic strips. Discover the best "Retirement Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 28,
2012
Tags #fee, #how the future works, #portfolio, #retirement planning, #understanding future
Transcript
Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.
Tuesday September 29,
2009
Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic
Transcript
Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."
Tuesday July 28,
2009
Tags #retirement, #planning, #greed, #celebrating, #layoffs
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm nearing retirement, so fire the research and development group." Dogbert says, "The cost cutting will goose my stock options so I can cash out before the death spiral." The boss says, "Please don't make the noise." Dogbert says, "Too late! Cha-Ching!"
Wednesday June 27,
2012
Tags #hope for survival, #nearsighted billionaire, #hunt, #private island, #foraging situation
Transcript
Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: Your only hope for survival is if a nearsighted billionaire offers to hunt you on his private island. Customer: Does that job pay well? Dogbert: It's more of a foraging situation. Customer: Must... adjust... expectations... down.
Tuesday January 10,
2006
Wednesday January 11,
2006
Saturday January 23,
2016
Retirement Plan
Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.
Sunday February 17,
2002
Tags #voluntary layoff package, #ted, #retirement money, #start a business, #kites out of waffles, #worlds largest, #edible kites, #value opinion, #option., #alice
Transcript
A coworker comes into Wally's cubicle. The coworker says, "Wally, may I ask you for advice?" Wally responds, "Huh?" The coworker says, "My name is Ted. I'm planning to take the voluntary layoff package." The coworker continues, "Then I plan to use my retirement money to start a business that makes kites out of waffles!" The coworker continues, "In five years I hope to be the world's largest maker of edible kites." The coworker asks, "So, what do you think? I value your opinion." Wally responds, "Ted, who told you that I'd be a good person to ask for an opinion on your idea?" Ted replies, "Alice said it reminded her of the quality of your... ideas." He pauses and then says, "Oh." Wally and Ted are standing hostilely in Alice's cubicle. Alice exclaims, "Alice shoots for the double!!! She scores!!!"
Wednesday December 17,
2014
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning
Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning
Transcript
Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.
Tuesday November 10,
2015
Not Saving Enough For Retirement
Tags #money, #saving, #retirement, #bleak, #despair, #pessimist, #old people, #elderly
Transcript
Wally: Most people are not saving enough for retirement. So I see no reason to work hard and save money just so my retirement condo can be overrun by starving seniors. Too bleak? Alice: A little!