Returned Calls Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

133 Results for Returned Calls

View 1 - 10 results for returned calls comic strips. Discover the best "Returned Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project manager, #returned calls, #emails, #mentally superior, #finished porject, #sleep national holidays

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts talk radio, #smartest creature, #dolts, #taking calls, #understand complex, #crossfire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing earphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "I'm the smartest creature in the universe and you are all dolts." Dogbert continues, "Today I'm taking calls from people who think they understand complex issues because they watch 'Crossfire' on CNN." A caller says, ". . . So why not put all poor people in orphanages?" With his paw on the control panel, Dogbert says, "Put your head up to the speaker, Bob."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #returned from trip, #boss says hi

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks to his cubicle with his briefcase, Dilbert wears his coat. Dilbert says, "Ahh...sweet cubicle, I have returned from my trip." Dilbert sits at his computer. Dilbert thinks, "It's just like being in a womb." The Boss looks in. The Boss says, "I just wanted to poke my head in and say hi."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #declare martial law, #jailing ombudsmen, #personal phone calls, #recommend changes, #shoot emplyees, #shoot employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."