Rewrite Plan Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

527 Results for Rewrite Plan

View 1 - 10 results for rewrite plan comic strips. Discover the best "Rewrite Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corporate strategy, #plan, #consistent, #leveraging platforms, #rewrite plan, #pretend to follow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" Dilbert: "How would I know?" The Boss: "Don't you know our strategy?" Dilbert: "No. Do you?" The Boss: "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" Dilbert: "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." The Boss: "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?

Retirement Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

Business Plan History

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Sabotage The Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sabotage The Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #plan, #sabatoge, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #estate plan, #inherit stuff, #option, #powerful incentive, #saving & investment, #wills, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #questioning, #best plan, #ignorant nusinace, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #email, #objecting, #hallucination of plan, #defensive, #narrowed problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you see my email objecting to your plan? Dilbert: No, but I saw your email objecting to what I assume is your hallucination of my plan. Man: You seem defensive. Dilbert: Have we narrowed down the problem to me?