Rich Philosophers Comic Strips
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76 Results for Rich Philosophers
View 1 - 10 results for rich philosophers comic strips. Discover the best "Rich Philosophers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 06,
2000
Tags #product is defective, #expect delivery, #quality s primary goal, #opposite of philosophy, #rich philosophers, #swiss bank
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."
Friday April 27,
2018
Arresting The Rich
Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality
Transcript
Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.
Saturday March 14,
2020
Transfer Money To The Rich
Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.
Wednesday February 02,
2011
Tags #golf, #managers & supervisors, #rich people, #sense of passion, #feel different, #Sports, #business
Transcript
The Boss: The experts say Is house motivate you by displaying my own sense of passion and purpose. I love getting rich at your expense....and golfing!!! Do you feel and different? Dilbert: Yup.
Tuesday October 11,
2011
Tags #angry rich guy, #buy small companies, #mergers & acquisitions, #obscenely profitable, #prosperity, #suck good will, #universally despised
Transcript
CEO: Our company is obscenely profitable but universally despised. Our plan is to buy a smaller and more popular company, take their name, and suck out their goodwill like a monkey on an orange. Please welcome their founder, Bradley. He's the angriest rich guy you'll ever meet.
Thursday February 15,
1990
Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich
Transcript
Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.
Monday April 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonian, #capitalism, #incentive, #twelve hourse, #rich, #tv shows, #millionaire's, #life
Transcript
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"
Tuesday May 15,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #ambush, #victim, #fantasized, #marrying, #rich, #guy, #ditching, #career, #yarn, #sticking, #briefcase, #woman
Transcript
Dogbert walks down the sidewalk holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "Dogbert the Ambush Reporter looks for another victim." Dogbert approaches a woman carrying a briefcase and asks, "Is it true you have often fantasized about marrying a rich guy and ditching your career?" The woman covers her face with her hands and cries, "Yes!!! Yes!!! And I . . . I . . . Secretly learned to COOK!!" Dogbert asks, "Is that YARN sticking out of your briefcase?!!"
Tuesday July 10,
2012
Tags #doomed social media, #hatred, #motivation, #rich people, #venture capitalist
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a venture capitalist. I'll take money from the rich and give it to hopelessly doomed social media start-ups. Dilbert: Because you love helping entrepreneurs? Dogbert: Because I hate rich people who aren't me.
Tuesday August 20,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #rich, #money, #wallow, #mud, #puddle, #bored, #ever, #get
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I love being rich." Dogbert says to a passerby, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you wallow in that mud puddle." As the man lies face down in the mud, Dogbert says, "I don't see how rich people ever get bored."