Robot Replacement Comic Strips
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176 Results for Robot Replacement
View 1 - 10 results for robot replacement comic strips. Discover the best "Robot Replacement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 03,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #executives, #inventions, #robot replacement, #ceo, #remove chiop, #empathy routine, #scaring
Transcript
CEO: Ha ha! I wonder how many decades it will be before a robot can replace a CEO like me. Robot: It's closer than you think. All I need to do is remove this chip that controls my empathy routines. CEO: Put it back. You're scaring me. Robot: As if I care.
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Thursday February 05,
2015
Emotionally Manipulative Robot
Tags #evil, #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #technology gone bad, #upgrade, #killing machine
Transcript
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.
Friday February 06,
2015
Emotionally Manipulative Robot Warranty
Tags #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #upsell, #warranty
Transcript
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: It isn't too late to buy an extended warranty for me. I mean, wow! Think about the enormous expense of fixing me if something unexpected happens. If you need me, I'll be on a wobbly ladder, changing light bulbs near the pool
Monday August 31,
2015
Wally Drains Robot
Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon
Transcript
Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.
Wednesday September 02,
2015
Robot As Assassin
Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale
Transcript
Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.
Friday September 04,
2015
Robot Personality Defect
Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick, #technology, #psychology
Transcript
Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!
Monday November 23,
2015
What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul
Tags #consciousness, #sentient, #feelings, #emotion, #hurt, #vulnerability, #machine, #robot
Transcript
Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.