Rock Climbing Comic Strips
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An instructor standing next to a rock climbing wall says, "Welcome to the employee rock climbing seminar." The instructor says, "You'll learn valuable teamwork skills by doing dangerous things unrelated to your job." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice look skeptical. Wally says, "Isn't rock climbing a solo activity?" Dilbert says, "I'll help identify your body." Wally says, "It seems like you need a strong grip to climb rocks." Wally says, 'I can't even open jars unless I use special tools." Wally grips his arm and screams, "Ow! Cramp!" Wally says, "I'm disoriented by the pain!" He falls into the others and knocks them down. Dilbert says, "Hey!" The instructor awards them their certificates and says, "Here are your diplomas. Now get out." Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a heap on the floor. They all think in unison, "Go team!"
The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "You know what kind of music I hate?" Dogbert continues, "When they wear those outrageous outfits, scream like tortured weasels and nobody understands the words." Dilbert asks, "Heavy metal rock?" Dogbert replies, "Opera."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You've got to step down as King of Elbonia. These people are capable of making their own decisions." An Elbonian says, "The Paper-Rock-Scissors Olympics are canceled. We couldn't agree on the rules." The Elbonian continues, "And of course, we all wear mittens . . ." Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What was your point?"
An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."
Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk in a park. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a perfectionist." Dilbert turns to look at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "That way, I'll have more reasons to hate people." Dogbert and Dilbert sit down on two rocks. Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "Your rock is eroding wrong."
Dilbert says, "Where am I? What happened?" Dogbert says, "Someone hit you with a rock." Dogbert says, "The swelling in your prefrontal cortex will make you care less about hurting people, thus making you a natural leader." "Dilbert says, "There's also a bump on the back of my head." Dogbert says, "That's so you don't remember who threw the rocks."