Roll My Eyes Comic Strips
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Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."
Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.
"Do you mind if I give you some advice?" Dilbert: "Not at all." "Do you mind if I roll my eyes, sigh deeply, and dismiss your advice as if it came from the village idiot?" "I might mind." Dilbert: "Well then, let me give you some advice..."
Headline: Career Counseling. Dilbert sits across from a client. The client says, "I love to hear myself talk." The client continues, "But I don't like it when people roll their eyes and go 'phhht.'" The client continues, "I'd like a job where people are forced to nod and smile while I babble." The client adds, "And I'd like to punish people for my own mistakes." Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in management." Dogbert continues, "Just to be sure, I'm going to give you a management aptitude test." The client replies, "Hey, I have an idea. Maybe I should pursue a career in management!" Dogbert says, "Congratulations! You just passed the management aptitude test." The client exclaims, "Yes!"
Dilbert and Wally sit at a desk. The Boss enters and says, "I've decided to get more involved with your project." Wally and Dilbert think, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "I'm just going to roll up my sleeves and pitch in." Trying to unbutton his sleeve cuffs, the Boss says, "Does anybody know how to work these buttons?" Wally covers his eyes with his hands and Dilbert leans back in disgust.
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.
Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."
The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."