Routine Diversification Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

7 Results for Routine Diversification

View 1 - 7 results for routine diversification comic strips. Discover the best "Routine Diversification" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2000's comic on:

Tags #ceo selling stock, #portfolio, #routine diversification, #sell, #sudden panic, #employees, #boss, #ceo, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Studying company financial information at his terminal, Dilbert exclaims: "Yikes! Our CEO is selling his stock!" At the Boss's office, the Boss reassures Dilbert: "Don't worry. It's routine diversification of his portfolio." Dilbert says: "Oh...I guess that's okay." Meanwhile the Boss stares at his computer screen and furiously works the keyboard as he thinks to himself: "Sell, sell, sell."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #strategic, #diversification, #fund, #lawyers, #money, #bags, #Dogs, #bury

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2014's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #embarrassed, #dress the same, #everyday, #reserve of willpower, #fashion decisions, #work, #wrote and app, #importance of routine

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Do you ever feel embarrassed that you dress the same way every day? Dilbert: No. Do you ever feel embarrassed that you don't understand the importance of routine in managing your limited reserve of willpower? Tina: I made 75 fashion decisions before breakfast. Dilbert: I wrote an app.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2015's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #lamp, #magic, #genies, #released, #wishes, #disturbed, #wiener, #binding, #contract, #relish, #hot dog

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a table rubbing a lamp. Dilbert asks, "Why are you rubbing that lamp?" Dogbert replies, "It's a routine check for magic genies." Dilbert says, "Carry on." A genie pops out of the lamp and says, "You have released me." Dogbert shouts, "Yes!!! Ha, ha!! Now you must grant me three wishes!" The genie replies, "Get real, four-eyes. We don't have a binding contract here." The genie says, "I LIKE living in a lamp. You disturbed me. I'm going to turn you into a wiener and go home." The genie turns Dogbert into a hot dog. He thinks, "At least it's an experience I can relish."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #executives, #inventions, #robot replacement, #ceo, #remove chiop, #empathy routine, #scaring

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Ha ha! I wonder how many decades it will be before a robot can replace a CEO like me. Robot: It's closer than you think. All I need to do is remove this chip that controls my empathy routines. CEO: Put it back. You're scaring me. Robot: As if I care.

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2018's comic on:

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.