Rubbing Soft Belly Comic Strips
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35 Results for Rubbing Soft Belly
View 1 - 10 results for rubbing soft belly comic strips. Discover the best "Rubbing Soft Belly" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 12,
1995
Tags #mister catbert, #total compensation plan, #salary alone, #danger, #balances out, #employee benefits, #lower blood pressure, #rubbing soft belly, #trick, #health benefit
Transcript
The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."
Wednesday August 07,
1996
Tags #cat likes petting, #Catbert, #company resources, #evil, #hr director, #pet cat, #soft furry belly, #ugly incident
Transcript
Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."
Saturday April 03,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #master, #earth, #message, #creature, #king, #retiring, #soft, #pillow
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."
Monday April 22,
1996
Tags #catbert hr driector, #new employees, #always quit, #reapply, #old job, #higher salary, #catnip, #rubbing body
Transcript
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Saturday July 17,
1999
Tags #no money down, #plan to conquer, #designed, #sitting, #soft fur
Transcript
Dogbert sits in front of the television with the remote. The television says, "'In tape one, I'll teach you how to conquer a small island for no money down.'" Dogbert drops the remote in surprise as the television continues, "First, you must travel to the place you plan to conquer." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I'm designed for sitting. That's why my butt is covered with soft fur." Dilbert sits beside him on the couch and says, "I think that's happening to me too."
Saturday January 08,
2000
Tags #managing instanct, #belly button lint, #leave employee, #unhygenic, #weird, #intimate, #gone too far
Transcript
The boss is sticking his hands in his shirt and thinks: "I've got a good crop of lint in my belly button today." The boss thinks: "I'll leave it on Dilbert's keyboard." The boss thinks: "I wonder if there's such a thing as managing too much by instict."
Wednesday November 20,
2002
Tags #lab accident, #sheep, #soft and warm, #form opinions, #want wool, #start shaving
Transcript
Dilbert is still a sheep. He says to The Boss, "A lab accident turned me into a sheep." Dilbert continues, "It's not all bad. In addition to being soft and warm, I never need to form opinions." Dilbert hands The Boss a wool shearer and continues, "If you want some wool, just grab me and start shaving. I'll barely struggle." The Boss responds, "Cool!"
Saturday November 30,
2002
Tags #doctor is vet, #military service, #rubs belly
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."
Tuesday April 01,
2003
Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."
Friday July 11,
2003
Tags #are years ago, #this year, #futire, #free soft drinks, #free coffee, #bottled water
Transcript
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."