Rubs Belly Comic Strips
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Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."
The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."
Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."
The boss is sticking his hands in his shirt and thinks: "I've got a good crop of lint in my belly button today." The boss thinks: "I'll leave it on Dilbert's keyboard." The boss thinks: "I wonder if there's such a thing as managing too much by instict."
JOB INTERVIEW Boss: So... what do you like to do in your spare time? Interviewee: Um... I visit orphanages and give back rubs to babies. Boss: Maybe you should have practiced for that question. Interviewee: And I bike there because I'm so green.
Dawn the Dinosaur points to Dilbert and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You heard me, Robert. Eat him right this minute!" Bob says, "But . . . but." Dawn crosses her arms and says, "You call yourself a carnivore? Well, at least smite him with your mighty tail!" Bob looks sheepish. Dawn says to Dilbert, "And THIS will teach you not to mess with dinosaurs!" Bob rubs his tail and says, "Cramp . . ."
Dilbert lies in bed looking at the alarm clock. He thinks, "Ten A.M. already?" Dilbert stands up and rubs his head. Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . Now I've got one of those headaches from oversleeping. Only one cure . . ." Back in his bed, Dilbert thinks, "You can't get too much of a bad thing."
Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Maybe Ted can answer that question . . ." Ted thinks, "Uh-oh." Ted thinks, "They're trying to make me work. I'll have to use body language to discourage them." Ted puts a pencil up his nose and rubs his head. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Never mind." Ted thinks, "It's working."
WARNING!! Dogbert sits behind a desk with Wally and says, "Author Norman Solomon has determined that the Dilbert comic strip is harmful to workers." A comic strip sits on the table. Dogbert shows the comic strip to Wally and says, "I will demonstrate the danger with this carefully controlled experiment." Dogbert asks, "Have your palns for rebellion been replaced by sarcasm and complacency?" Wally rubs his head and says, "And I think I'm going bald, too!"