Rug Catch Fire Comic Strips
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283 Results for Rug Catch Fire
View 1 - 10 results for rug catch fire comic strips. Discover the best "Rug Catch Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 07,
2008
Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 24,
1999
Tags red white shirt, spilled, Women, party, drink in face, salt, lighter fluid, set on fire, burned, not happy, not popular
Transcript
Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."
Friday September 02,
2011
Tags anxiety, pessimism, approve goal, apathy, plan to fire, unimportant projects
Transcript
Ted: Did you approve my goals for next year? Boss: Yeah, whatever. Ted: Gaaa! Your apathy about my goals can only mean you to fire me within the next year! Catbert: Ha ha! Now give him unimportant projects. Boss: They all seem that way to me.
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Friday September 15,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, social anxiety, fire alarm, manners, grins
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."
Tuesday October 22,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, severance, package, krazy, glued, farm, animals, still, boss, deal, bureaucracy, fire, meeting, run, long, animal, behavior, the boss
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Thursday August 13,
1992
Tags Dilbert, fiasco, rare, disease, puppetitis, hand, puppet, catch
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My date was a fiasco." Dilbert continues, "She has a rare disease called puppetitis - it makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert continues, "Apparently you can catch it by holding hands." Dilbert moves his hand like a puppet and says, "But it was worth it."
Thursday August 20,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage, counselor, fight, squeeze, tube, toothpaste, empty, rug, bottom, hog, blankets, snort, animal, behavior, pig
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert listens as a patient says, "We have a running fight over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste." A man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like a pig says, "I like to squeeze it from the bottom. She prefers to empty the tube on the rug and roll around in it." Dogbert asks, "At night, does she 'hog' the blankets and snort?" The man replies, "Wow, it's like you know her."
Friday November 12,
1993
Tags Dilbert, instructor, seminar, managers, fire
Transcript
The instructor says to Dilbert, "I don't think you're ready." The man continues, "Fire-walking requires complete confidence. Anything less could be dangerous." Dilbert says, "I'm just chilly." Dilbert's pants are rolled up and he has socks on his feet. The instructor says, "Fine . . . Do it with your socks on."