Russian Dolphin Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

16 Results for Russian Dolphin

View 1 - 10 results for russian dolphin comic strips. Discover the best "Russian Dolphin" comics from Dilbert.com.

Too Much Exposition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Much Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dolphin, #exposition, #hit man, #murder for hire, #stories, #storytelling, #ceo, #russian dolphin, #militray, #smartphone, #stolen, #mansion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our CEO Bought a Russian military dolphin for his daughter's pool party and it killed a party clown. Then it stole a smartphone and hired Dogbert to put a hit on the CEO so the dolphin... Garbage Man: That's way too much exposition. Dilbert: ...fill the CEO's mansion with water and live in it forever.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

Dogbert Disposes Bodies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Disposes Bodies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dolphin, #exotic pets, #hit man, #murder, #murder for hire, #russian military, #killed clown, #dead bodies, #disposal, #expert

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards

View Transcript

Transcript

Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 million dolalrs, #rat hole, #ride into space, #russian rocket, #poor, #rocket

View Transcript

Transcript

A man carrying a bag of money approaches the "Rat Hole." He says to Dogbert, "I can't decide if I should throw 25 million dollars down a rat hole or..." The man continues, "... Buy a ride into space on a Russian rocket ship." The man is throwing his money into the hole. Dogbert asks, "What about the poor?" The man replies, "Do they have a rocket?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #victor, #project, #goat head, #upset, #angry, #awful, #slap, #help, #ask, #wind up, #stand on one leg, #cringe, #hard hit, #dolphin head, #change species, #seeing stars, #messy hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Alice, a horrible accident has given me a goat head. I need you to slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up." Alice says, "Hold still, Asok. This might take a few tries." Two Hours Later Alice says, "Dolphin is close! One more should do it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #children drawing & painting, #executives, #chalky substance, #layers of mangement, #new layers, #p, #avp, #director, #doplphon, #inanimate object

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #fish & aquatic mammals, #complaints, #shark, #doplphon, #robot, #patrol, #waters

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flies, #dolphins, #killing, #aspca

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert kills a fly with a fly swatter. Dogbert asks, "Why is it okay to kill flies but not okay to kill dolphins?" Dogbert continues, "Is the poor fly any less deserving of our respect and protection?" Dilbert raises the fly swatter and says, "Hold still . . . There's a dolphin on your forehead." Dogbert says, "I've added the A.S.P.C.A. to our speed dialer."