Safe Working Comic Strips
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481 Results for Safe Working
View 1 - 10 results for safe working comic strips. Discover the best "Safe Working" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 26,
2008
Tags #job interview, #fat and lazy, #safe working, #thrive on abuse, #complain, #remove tongue, #begging, #desparate
Transcript
Albanian: If you hire me, I will do all the jobs that the people born in this country are too fat and lazy to do. I don't require a safe working environment, and I thrive on abuse! The Boss: Do you complain much?" Albanian: I'll remove my own tongue and give it to you in a pickle jar for boss's day.
Thursday April 23,
2020
Working At Home
Tags #accomplished, #business, #fort, #goof, #health, #home, #version, #working, #coronavirus
Transcript
day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.
Monday May 02,
2011
Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.
Monday June 20,
2011
Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.
Tuesday July 26,
2011
Tags #public speaking, #questioning, #draw attention, #opposite apporach, #working
Transcript
Dilbert: And so, as you can see... Man: All of the numbers I gave you last week are wrong. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I don't like to draw attention to myself. I see that you're taking the opposite approach. How's that working for you?
Friday April 06,
2012
Tags #bears, #happiness, #compares, #raise, #working, #people attacked, #bear attacked, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!
Tuesday June 12,
2012
Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.
Wednesday February 21,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #working, #reference, #inadequate, #talking, #pages
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."
Thursday December 20,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #senator, #issue, #working, #real, #problems
Transcript
Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"
Thursday January 03,
1991
Tags #murder, #forever, #safe, #optimist, #pessimist, #1957, #due
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."