Safety Hazrd Comic Strips
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89 Results for Safety Hazrd
View 1 - 10 results for safety hazrd comic strips. Discover the best "Safety Hazrd" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 19,
1997
Tags #downsized, #dinosaurs, #spike things, #safety hazrd, #ate ficus tree, #being professional
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"
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Monday October 24,
2016
Mandatory Safety Meeting
Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe
Transcript
Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.
Sunday May 03,
2020
Dilbert Hates Safety
Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health
Transcript
dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.
Tuesday June 16,
2020
Dilbert Cares Not For Safety
Tags #argument, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."
Wednesday June 17,
2020
Sarcastic About Safety
Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training
Transcript
Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.
Thursday June 18,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Safety
Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.
Friday June 19,
2020
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety
Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team
Transcript
Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.
Thursday October 15,
2020
Safety Record
Tags #managers & supervisors, #safety, #record, #industry, #best, #face mask, #untrue, #lie, #idiot
Transcript
boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...
Saturday February 10,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #tire, #company, #imply, #child's, #safety, #product, #tires, #stinkin', #extended, #Family, #dog, #animal, #animal behavior
Transcript
Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"
Thursday July 05,
2012
Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face
Transcript
Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.