Search Results for "safety tip"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 83

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2002's comic on:

Tags #safety tip, #bend knees, #bang head, #art or science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types, "Safety Tip of the Day:" The Boss continues typing, "Always bend your knees when banging your head against a wall." The Boss thinks, "I can't remember if managing is an art or a science."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1998's comic on:

Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #home, #safety, #tips, #appliances, #children, #billy, #household, #vote, #election, #communist, #regime, #television, #window, #televangelist

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel contains the title, "Dogbert's Home Safety Tips." Dogbert says, "It could save your life!" The caption says, "Tip #1: Children can swallow anything smaller than a sofa. Attach boards to vulnerable appliances." Dogbert attaches a piece of wood to a toaster while a baby watches. The infant tries to swallow the toaster and the board sticks out of his mouth. Dogbert says, "Ha ha! Nice try, Billy!" The caption says, "Tip #2: Your household may have a member who can legally vote but probably shouldn't." Dogbert stands next to a man in a chair and says, "Try tricking them into missing the election." Dogbert tells the man, "We're a communist regime now. You don't have to vote." The man says, "Shoot!" The caption says, "Tip #3: Your television is trying to steal your life's savings." A man on tv says, "I personally pray over every check you send." Dogbert tosses the television out a window and says, "Your only hope is to push your television out a high window." The caption says, "If everybody does it, we just might get lucky." The tv falls toward the televangelist who is walking on the sidewalk below.

Mandatory Safety Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2016's comic on:

Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #fancy hotels, #tip, #maid, #concierge, #french-sounding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #tire, #company, #imply, #child's, #safety, #product, #tires, #stinkin', #extended, #Family, #dog, #animal, #animal behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #feeling, #ear, #enjoy, #sin, #yesterday, #q-tip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know that good feeling you get when you first put a Q-tip in your ear?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah." Dilbert asks, "Can I freely enjoy it, or is it a sin?" Dogbert replies, "I think it's okay." Dilbert says, "Good, because I used a whole box yesterday."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2012's comic on:

Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #friend, #tip, #authorities, #stock, #afraid, #kept, #money, #reward

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1995's comic on:

Tags #wally hat, #safety rule, #email, #human resources, #short ep, #lyees, #visibilty, #aluminum foil pants, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees Wally wearing a hat with a triangular flag or pennant attached. Dilbert asks, "What's the hat for, Wally?" Wally answers, "It's a new safety rule. I think it's stupid." Wally says, "The e-mail from human resources said all short employees must wear these to improve visibility while in the cubicle aisles." Dilbert peers into Alice's cubicle. He says to her, "HR should change their password once in a while." Alice says, "I'll bet we can make him wear aluminum foil pants."