Said Hello Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

495 Results for Said Hello

View 1 - 10 results for said hello comic strips. Discover the best "Said Hello" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #having retreat, #mountain resort, #loud noises, #avalnaches

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in his cubicle talking on the phone. He says, "Hello, is this the mountain resort where all our executives are having a retreat?" Wally asks, "Is is true that loud noises can cause avalanches?" Wally continues, "If you see my boss, tell him I said . . ." Wally screams into the phone, "HI!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #fax it, #goodby paperless, #hello cluless

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands his secretary a document and says, "Send this by e-mail." The Boss continues, "Fax it, too, in case he doesn't check his e-mail. And mail the original so he has a clean copy." As the Boss walks away, the secretary says, "Goodbye 'paperless,' hello 'clueless.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exactly man, #said in meeting, #wong, #proof, #humanoid response

View Transcript

Transcript

THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Alice says to Randy, "Everything you said in the meeting was wrong. Here's the proof." Randy whirls on Alice and exclaims, "Exactly!!" Randy sits with folded arms as Alice says, "Okay, I'm not even sure that was a humanoid response."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minutes, #meeting, #read minutes, #irrelevant things said, #men are idiots, #bad descions, #implied, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #said to reporter, #technology is purtrid, #compensate, #ignore complaints, #witch hunt

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is holding a newspaper and looks panicked. He says to Catbert, "Look what one of our engineers said to a reporter!" Catbert reads, "Our technology is putrid, but we compensate by ignoring complaints." The Boss asks Catbert, "You know what would be more fun than fixing those problems?" Catbert exclaims, "Witch-hunt!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting in elbonia, #take a class, #culture, #accidentally offend, #hello, #gestures, #2 meaning gestures

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I want you to attend a meeting for me... It's in Elbonia." "First, you'll need to take a class on their culture so you won't accidently offend them." "This gesture either means "Hello" or "I'd like to see your mittens on my bedroom floor , baby.""

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #fired, #unflattering comments, #transferring new job, #living for weekend, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert sits behind a desk and says, "Hello, head-count." The employee asks, "Am I fired?" Catbert responds, "No, no, no..." Catbert says, "I'd never fire you for making unflattering comments to the press about the company." The employee responds, "Really? Everyone said you're evil." Catbert responds, "Heh, heh, thank you." He pauses and then continues, "But all I'm doing is transferring you to a new job." The employee says, "Gee, that doesn't sound bad." He pauses and then asks, "What is it?" Catbert says, "Our new assembly line is seven inches too low. Your job is to fix it." The employee's head is clamped in a machine. A factory worker is using his legs as a lever with which to operate the machine. The employee thinks, "I'm living for the weekend."