Sales Department Comic Strips
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415 Results for Sales Department
View 1 - 10 results for sales department comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Department" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 15,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #sales, #department, #boss, #new, #hurt, #customers, #new guy, #despise, #account, #i hate you
Transcript
A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."
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Saturday February 03,
2001
Tags #sales department, #die, #deaths, #bile, #quality control
Transcript
Man: Hello, is this the sales department? Elbonian 1: May you die a thousand deaths by choking on your own bile. Supervisor may be monitoring this call for quality control, Elbonian 2: Its good.
Friday January 23,
2004
Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book
Transcript
The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."
Friday January 01,
2021
Cock Fights
Tags #business, #business ethics, #audit, #disturbing, #results, #sales, #department, #cockfight, #invitation, #rooster
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday? boss: why have i never been invited? dogbert: you're not a rooster.
Friday April 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #company, #person, #brains, #department, #body, #engineering, #snot
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert, "Think of the company as a person. We in marketing would be the 'brains.'" The man continues, "The sales department would be the 'body.'" Dilbert asks, "What's engineering?" The man replies, "The snot."
Wednesday March 17,
1999
Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld
Transcript
The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."
Saturday October 15,
2016
Blame Rolls Downhill
Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?
Wednesday May 06,
1998
Tags #marketing dept, #brochures, #new prodcut, #dominate market, #sales, #don't make product, #business
Transcript
Bob hands Dilbert something and says, "The marketing department saves the day! Check out these brochures I made." Bob reports, "This new product will allow us to dominate the market!" Dilbert says, "But we don't make this product." Bob says, "That hasn't hurt our sales so far."
Wednesday September 07,
2016
Weak Sales Reorg
Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.
Friday January 08,
2021
Sales To Elbonia
Tags #business, #government policy, #sales, #sale, #elbonia, #government, #ban, #accomplices
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.