Sales Increase Comic Strips
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255 Results for Sales Increase
View 1 - 10 results for sales increase comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Increase" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 27,
2002
Tags #email, #engineer, #huge, #huge buzz, #huge success, #sales increase, #six emails, #track numbers, #engineering
Transcript
A coworker addresses the meeting, "The ad campaign was a huge, huge success!" The Boss responds, "Wow!" Dilbert responds, "Define 'huge, huge' success.' How much did sales increase?" The coworker replies, "We don't track those numbers." The coworker continues, "But I know the ad created a huge buzz because of all the e-mail I got the next day." Dilbert asks the coworker, "How many messages did you get?" The coworker responds, "Six. But that's a lot for one topic." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Six!" Dilbert responds, "How many of the six were from your own employees?" The coworker turns to The Boss and asks, "Who invited the engineer?" The Boss replies, "I thought he was with you."
Monday September 08,
2014
Tags #big business, #competition (psychology), #bad ads, #increase sales, #competitors, #running ads, #increases ads, #strategic incompetence, #luck
Transcript
Coworker: Our ads are so bad that they increase sales for our competitors. Boss: Try running ads for our competitors and see if it increases our sales. Dilbert: Strategic incompetence? Boss: I didn't get this far by luck!
Saturday March 23,
2019
Brainwashing To Increase Sales
Tags #questioning, #brainwashing, #technology, #increase, #ethnical
Transcript
Sean: Our brainwashing technology had boosted sales by 900% Dilbert: But is it ethnical? Sean: Yes, it is. Yes...It...Is
Saturday December 12,
1998
Tags #boss with spreadsheet, #increase page number, #exhausted
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert look in on the Boss who is working on his computer. Wally says, "Nothing is more dangerous than a boss with a spreadsheet." The boss types. The Boss thinks, "If I increase the page number, our sales go up. I'm onto something." Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss says, "On page 843 the sale would be higher, but I was exausted."
Saturday April 19,
2008
Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business
Transcript
Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"
Saturday May 10,
2008
Tags #antique thing, #defective prodcuts, #free up funds, #larger volume, #longer test, #sales force, #quality control budget
Transcript
The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"
Wednesday September 07,
2016
Weak Sales Reorg
Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.
Tuesday January 18,
2011
Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance
Transcript
Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar
Monday June 27,
2011
Tags #direction, #managers, #increase clairty, #whining
Transcript
CEO: employees keep whining that we don't have a clear direction. So Ive doubled the number of managers one each group to increase the clarity. The Boss: I thought we were doubling the direction. No, we're doubling the clarity.
Tuesday September 20,
2011
Tags #commerce, #joking, #market share, #increase market share, #good sense of humor
Transcript
CEO: Our strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert: I'm confused. I spent all last year trying to decrease our market share. Was that effort wasted? Don't worry. Wally told me he has a good sense of humor. Wally: I'm not reliable.