Sales Target Comic Strips

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215 Results for Sales Target

View 1 - 10 results for sales target comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Target" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales target, #have bad credit, #bonuses, #accounts receivable, #getting bonuses

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Dilbert: "The only way to meet our sales target is by selling to customers who have bad credit." The Boss: "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts recievables are worhtless." The Boss: "The key to getting bonusses is acting surprised later." Dilbert: "I feel unclean."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broke code, #can't be measured, #cut pay, #depend on meeting, #own darn fault, #sales targets

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"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil, #cat, #director of human resources, #sales bonus, #raise target, #boss, #laugh, #point, #bend over, #tail, #annoyed, #support, #animals

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #bonus, #boss, #raise target, #engineer, #connect cables, #computers, #time machine, #marketing, #liquor, #business, #engineering

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Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liqour and guessing."

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Sales To Elbonia

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Sales To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #government policy, #sales, #sale, #elbonia, #government, #ban, #accomplices

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boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.

Pandemic Sales

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Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #high, #pandemic, #virus, #deadly, #profit, #conscience, #feelings

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boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance

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Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #service business, #unmotivated sales guy, #slides are blank, #compelling reason, #no commission work, #budget issues

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Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

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Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.