Same Way Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Same Way
View 1 - 10 results for same way comic strips. Discover the best "Same Way" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 12,
2014
Tags #budgets, #deadlines, #logic, #obliviousness, #projects, #reasoning, #software upgrade, #rolled out, #estimated finish date, #same way, #failure, #on budget
Transcript
Coworker: The software upgrade will be written and rolled out in three months. Dilbert: Has any project of this complexity ever been completed by the estimated finish date? Coworker: Not yet. We're confident we'll be the first. Dilbert: Is that because you're doing things differently from all of those who went before and failed? Coworker: No. We're doing things exactly the same way as the people who failed. Dilbert: Do you see what I'm getting at? Coworker: No, not really. And we expect to be on budget. Wally: Snork!
Saturday July 12,
2014
Tags #competition (psychology), #embarrassed, #dress the same, #everyday, #reserve of willpower, #fashion decisions, #work, #wrote and app, #importance of routine
Transcript
Tina: Do you ever feel embarrassed that you dress the same way every day? Dilbert: No. Do you ever feel embarrassed that you don't understand the importance of routine in managing your limited reserve of willpower? Tina: I made 75 fashion decisions before breakfast. Dilbert: I wrote an app.
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.
Monday May 08,
1995
Tags #signs on cubciles, #be classy, #cubicles, #conference rooms, #catch
Transcript
The Boss stands in the door of Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Why is everybody putting signs on their cubicles?" Dilbert replies, "We thought it would be classy to name our cubicles the same way we name conference rooms." The Boss reads signs that say "O.J. Room" and "Menendez Rooms" and thinks, "I know there's a catch . . . But what?"
Sunday July 29,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #god of thunder, #thor, #athpirin, #god of velcro, #god of mayonaise, #greek, #roman, #mythology
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock humming to himself. A man wearing a Viking helmet approaches Dogbert and says, "Greetings, Dogbert, I am the God of Thunder." Dogbert looks startled and says, "Yip!" The man repeats, "I am Thor!!" Dogbert says, "Take some athpirin." Thor reads a list and says, "We're looking for some new Norse gods to update our image. Your name came up." Thor continues, "It's the same way I got started. I worked my way up from God of Static Cling." Dogbert reads the list and says, "Hmm . . . 'God of Velcro' looks interesting." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock with a towel wrapped around him. Dogbert says, "Don't laugh. I put your name in for God of Mayonnaise."
Tuesday July 24,
2007
Tags #wally refuses, #stop eating, #noisy snacks, #likes salt, #more ethan you, #kelp, #oatmeal
Transcript
Tina: I asked Wally to stop eating noisy snacks in his cubicle but he refuses. Catbert: "That's because he likes salt more than he likes you. We all feel the same way." Tina: "What?" CAtbert: "You're somewhere between oatmeal and kelp."
Friday October 11,
2013
Tags #friendship, #introvert, #drained, #human vibe, #bird, #furniture, #robots, #animals, #relationships
Transcript
Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.
Monday July 28,
2014
Tags #deception, #laziness, #successful people, #start early, #really working, #boss, #first four hours
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that successful people can start early. Can I start work at 4AM and quit at noon? Boss: How would I know you were really working the first four hours? Wally: Same way you know now. Boss: I don't know now. Wally: It's like that but with less attendance.
Tuesday October 06,
2015
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid
Transcript
Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.
Thursday June 02,
2016
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For
Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement
Transcript
Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."