Search Results for "samples"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 5 of 5

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #randomly selected, #drug test, #unlucky at work, #hair samples, #one whole eyebrow, #lost box, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2005's comic on:

Tags #trump, #free stuff, #resources, #free samples, #rich people, #marketing campaign

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I create a marketing campaign if my boss doesn't give me any resources? Dogbert: "Try giving free samples to people who look like celebrities." Dilbert: "And you would be?" TRUMP: "Donald trump. Give me some free stuff."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2005's comic on:

Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2000's comic on:

Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2003's comic on:

Tags #evil hr director, #hire, #job interview, #urine sample, #social secuirty, #past emplyers, #past lovers, #despicable

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to an interviewee, "I need to check a few things before we hire you." Catbert continues, "Give me blood, hair and urine samples, fingerprints, social- security number, past employers, and past lovers." The Boss and Catbert are meeting. The Boss is looking over the interviewee's records. The Boss asks, "Before we started doing all of this checking, did you know that everyone in the world was despicable?" Catbert replies, "Yes."

View more books now