Satisfied With Job Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Satisfied With Job

View 1 - 10 results for satisfied with job comic strips. Discover the best "Satisfied With Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2000's comic on:

Tags #satisfied with job, #afraid of change, #purr, #best work

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Catbert says to Alice, "You think you're satisfied with your job." Catbert continues, yelling, "In reality you're just afraid of change!" Walking away and purring, Catbert thinks, "That was some of my best work."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2014's comic on:

Tags #relations between the sexes, #Women, #boss, #injected, #job performance drugs, #jerk, #kryptonite, #evolution, #physical attributes

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Dilbert: our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Alice: Gaaa!!! Evolution has made me attracted to your physical attributes! Dilbert: I'm sort of a jerk now. Alice: Noooo! That's my kryptonite!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2014's comic on:

Tags #disciplines, #horns, #injected, #magic, #spell remover, #tail, #work ethic, #performance enhancing, #drugs, #boss injected

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Dilbert: Our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Wally: Job performance be gone! Apparently, I can do that now. Asok: I must find more disciples.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1995's comic on:

Tags #bob, #self esteem, #improve, #job, #opening, #procurement dept, #hit people, #with tail, #prevent desired computers, #business

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Bob the Dinosaur sits on Dilbert's couch with his head down. Dilbert tells him, "Bob, your self-esteem might improve if you got a job." Bob replies, "As what?" Dilbert says, "There's an opening in our procurement department. You'd be perfect." Bob asks, "What does procurement do?" Dilbert replies, "Their job is to prevent us from getting the computers we want." Bob asks, "Can I hit people with my tail?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2000's comic on:

Tags #new job, #starts with l, #window shuts, #company, #business

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Dilbert is staring at his computer screen. Ted has the letter 'O' painted on his chest. Ted says to Dilbert, "I need a new job within the company before the window shuts." Ted says, "Catbert is already up to 'O.' Next week he gets an 'S'." Dilbert asks, "What's he spelling?" Ted says to Dilbert, "He wouldn't say, but it starts with an 'L'."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1998's comic on:

Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

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Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2008's comic on:

Tags #ghost, #popular employee, #better job, #spirit, #kill with kindness, #compariosn, #attacks ghost

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A ghost says, "Hello, Alice. I'm the ghost of the popular employee who once did your function." The ghost says, "My body has gone to a better job, but my spirit remains to remind everyone how mean you are in comparison." The ghost says, "Nice try, but you can only kill me with kindness." Alice says, "Gaaa! Gaaa! Gaaa!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2002's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #start with prayer, #fear no downsizing, #fist of death, #job skills, #investment protfolio, #doing well, #higher return, #escape clowns, #stew in bile, #business

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Alice addresses a meeting, "If there are no objections, I'd like to start the meeting with a prayer." Asok starts, "I'm a...." Alice prays, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear no downsizing." Asok starts, "But I'm..." Alice continues praying, "For I have a fist of death and highly marketable job skills." Alice continues praying, "But my investment portfolio isn't doing as well as I'd hoped." Alice continues praying, "So, if it's not too much to ask..." Alice continues praying, "I need a higher return so I can escape these clowns." Alice exclaims, "And live in splendor while they stew in their own bile!" After the prayer, The Boss responds, "Maybe we won't do this again." Alice responds, "Whatever you say, heathen."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

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Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #budget for a poor job, #build software, #business ethics, #cheap or smart, #executives, #poor job, #return on investment, #selling upogardes

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Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"