Satisfying Customers Comic Strips
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178 Results for Satisfying Customers
View 1 - 10 results for satisfying customers comic strips. Discover the best "Satisfying Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 22,
2014
Tags #managers & supervisors, #travel budget freeze, #technical problems, #fiancail targets, #satisfying customers, #sounds bad, #said outloud, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I need an exception to the travel budget freeze so I can fix an important customer's technical problem. Boss: No, because arbitrary financial targets are more important than satisfying customers. Wait... why does that sound bad when I say it out lout? Dilbert: If it makes you feel better, I wasn't listening.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 30,
2011
Tags #apathy, #telephones, #get tech support, #audio menu, #tech support, #user manuals, #hate customers, #apathy thing
Transcript
Dogbert: I researched how long your customers will stay on the phone trying to get tech support before giving up. Then I designed an audio menu tree that will take them slightly longer than that to reach your tech support. I've seen your user manuals and I assume that you hate your customers' guts. Boss: It's more of an apathy thing.
Tuesday January 18,
2011
Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance
Transcript
Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar
Sunday February 19,
2012
Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.
Sunday May 06,
2012
Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube
Transcript
Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!
Wednesday May 23,
2012
Tags #dolls, #dummy, #treat customers, #metaphor, #stunned, #employees shicked, #boss demonstrates
Transcript
Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.
Thursday March 29,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #spitballs, #Girls, #beg, #dates, #satisfying, #woman, #love
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "When I was a kid I threw spitballs at girls to show I liked them." Dilbert continues, "Now I just grovel and beg for dates." Dilbert concludes, "Frankly, the old way was more satisfying."
Friday May 24,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #solitaire, #cards, #random, #declare, #winner, #satisfying, #arm chair, #desk
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a table holding some playing cards. He thinks, "I can't remember the rules for solitaire." Dogbert thinks, "I'll just put the cards in random piles and then declare myself the winner." Dilbert sits back in the chair and looks at the piles. He thinks, "That was surprisingly satisfying."
Friday June 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #sod, #wilson, #flogging, #dead, #hourses, #internal, #bureaucracy, #gouge, #customers, #attitude, #bad
Transcript
The Boss: It's going to be another year of flogging dead horses. But somehow we'll muddle through our internal bureaucracy, gouge our customers, and keep getting our tiny paychecks. Dilbert: Sir, Wilson turned into a clump of uninspired sod. The Boss: It's just as well; he had a bad attitude.
Thursday July 18,
1991
Tags #ratbert, #journal, #chiuahua, #lifestyle, #movie, #senseless, #brutality, #slapped, #strangely, #satisfying
Transcript
Ratbert sits on a rock writing in his journal. Ratbert writes, "Day one: I have disguised myself as a Chihuahua so I can experience their lifestyle and make a movie." Ratbert writes, "I have already seen the senseless prejudice and brutality against an innocent Chihuahua." Ratbert writes, "This morning I slapped myself with a rolled up newspaper for no apparent reason. It was strangely satisfying."