Saw A Flea Comic Strips
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Wally says, "Does my new goatee make me look manly and intellectual at the same time?" Dilbert says, "It makes you look too lazy to shave around your lips." Dilbert says, "And I think I saw a flea." Wally says, "Yeah. That one is resistant to soup."
Dogbert stands on a filing cabinet. He wears a crown and holds a scepter. The Boss bows before him. Dogbert says, "Tell the employees to get wheelbarrows to carry my salary out." Dogbert says, "Turn out the lights when you're done. You're all downsized. Shoo!" The Boss leaves in a daze. Caption: The Media Loved Him A mob of reporters surrounds Dogbert's filing cabinet. One reporter says, "Can we call you 'Buzz Saw Dogbert'?" Dogbert says, "I bought your parent company today. You're downsized. Shoo!"
Dilbert hands his plane ticket to a woman at the Happy Airlines counter. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Vacation, here we come!" The woman types on the computer. Dilbert watches her type and thinks, "Why do they have to enter so much stuff in the computer?" Dilbert thinks, "They already have our reservation and seat assignment in there. What else do they need?" Dilbert says, "I'm developing a sudden fear of flying." Dogbert says, "Step aside." Dogbert stands on the counter and shouts, "What's going on up here??!!" The woman says, "Gate 13. Have a nice flight." Dogbert says, "Okay." The woman types, "They never saw their beloved luggage again. The misfits always regretted offending Tantra, the Goddess of Flight. The end."
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"
Tina says, "I proofread your technical document despite not understanding a word of it." Tina says, "I couldn't tell the acronyms from the typos, so I changed them all to whatever felt right." The Boss says, "You say we should migrate our lemon flutes to a hard flea?" Dilbert says, "Not all at once."
Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.
Alice says, "I just saw in the news that Google gave an engineer millions of dollars. I'm underpaid!" The Boss says, "I'll speak to our director of human resources and see how I can fix this situation." Alice says, "Really?" The Boss says, "How can we stop news?"
Man: Did you see my email objecting to your plan? Dilbert: No, but I saw your email objecting to what I assume is your hallucination of my plan. Man: You seem defensive. Dilbert: Have we narrowed down the problem to me?
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.