Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."
Dilbert: Do you ever feel guilty for scamming innocent people out of their money?
Dogbert: "No." "I only scam people who would do the same to me if they were just smarter."
Dilbert: "So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?"
Dogbert: "It's a good system."
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years.
CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good.
Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years.
CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell.
Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught.
Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career.
CEO: Thats not even close to being true.
Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
