Scott Adam Comic Strips
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11 Results for Scott Adam
View 1 - 10 results for scott adam comic strips. Discover the best "Scott Adam" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 31,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #efficient, #Dogbert, #electronic, #mail, #prodigy, #scott adam, #light, #system
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert asks, "Has your electronic mail system made you more efficient?" Dilbert replies, "In a way." Dilbert explains, "Now I'm getting ignored at the speed of light." Dogbert says to the reader, "You can send electronic mail to us through the Prodigy system, care of Scott Adams, ID number mwpg@3a." The caption says, "Note: this strip is not affiliated with Prodigy in any way."
Tuesday June 08,
2010
Tags #birthday cake, #coworker, #Scott, #spit, #candle, #sarcastic, #queen of england, #fancy
Transcript
Carol says, "We're having a birthday cake for Scott in the break room." Dilbert says, "No thanks. I prefer cake that isn't frosted with the spit of recent candle-blowing." Carol says, "Oooh, look at the Queen of England who likes her cake without spit. What's it like to be fancy?"
Thursday August 25,
1994
Tags #assist me, #cartoonists disclaimer, #cucumber mutants, #disclaimer, #not funny, #quite a pickle, #world domination
Transcript
Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.
Monday June 08,
2009
Tags #collecting, #money, #birthday, #angry, #ridiculous
Transcript
Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"
Sunday May 05,
2002
Tags #socialize, #getting buy in, #dialoging for feedback, #building consensus, #temperature check, #straw man, #inoculate stakeholders, #letter from sa
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You need to socialize your idea with the rest of the department." Dilbert replies, "Socialize? Is that the same as getting buy-in?" The Boss answers, "It's one step below buy-in. It's more like dialoging for feedback." Dilbert says, "Wait...I thought that building consensus was one step below buy- in." The Boss responds, "Just run it up a flagpole and see who salutes." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be better to do a temperature check using a straw man?" The Boss answers, "Maybe... But is that going to inoculate the stakeholders?" A letter from Scott Adams reads, "Dear Reader, If you or anyone you love understands the preceding conversation, you have my deepest sympathy." Signed, "S.A."
Monday March 07,
2016
When Does The Motivation Start
Tags #effective, #effectiveness, #executives, #motivation, #eric scott
Transcript
Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?
Tuesday March 08,
2016
Try Not Being Boring
Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #frustration, #bored, #boring, #powerpoint, #meeting, #obliviousness, #eric scott, #business
Transcript
CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.
Thursday March 10,
2016
Asok Negotiates With Boss
Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!
Friday March 11,
2016
Boss Is Bad Negotiator
Tags #haggle, #money, #negotation, #negotiating, #raise, #salary, #trick, #eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I just learned that our boss is a bad negotiator. Wally: How bad? Asok: I just negotiated a 3.3-million-dollar raise for myself. And I want 80 percent of the raises you two get because I told you. Dilbert and Wally: 75 percent is our final offer!
Saturday March 12,
2016
Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator
Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist
Transcript
Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.