Sculpt Disparate Pieces Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
21 Results for Sculpt Disparate Pieces
View 1 - 10 results for sculpt disparate pieces comic strips. Discover the best "Sculpt Disparate Pieces" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 01,
1995
Tags #write objectives, #sculpt disparate pieces, #elegant tapestry, #business plan, #clay tapestry, #quote boss, #clueless
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "Each of you will write your objectives and give them to me." The Boss continues, "Then I will sculpt these disparate pieces of clay into an elegant tapestry which will be our business plan." Alice asks, "Our business plan will be like a clay tapestry?" The Boss says, "Feel free to quote me."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday September 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #read, #sculpt, #elephant, #start, #chunk, #marble, #remove, #everything
Transcript
Dilbert holds a chisel and other carving tools. A block of marble sits on a stand under a picture of an elephant. Dilbert says to Dogbert who sits on a stool watching, "I've read that it's easy to sculpt an elephant . . ." Dilbert continues, "You just start with a chunk of marble and remove everything that doesn't look like an elephant." Later, Dilbert stares at the chips of marble that remain on the stand. Dilbert thinks, "Apparently, this chunk of marble didn't have an elephant in it."
Wednesday January 28,
1998
Tags #deputy of common sense, #motivate emplyees, #insulting gifts, #symbolism, #chess pieces, #same team, #pawns, #saving rooks
Transcript
Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and stands on The Boss's desk and says, "You are accused of trying to motivate employees with insulting gifts." The Boss says, "You're missing the symbolism. I gave them chess pieces to show them we're all on the same team." Dogbert hass a hand on his gun and syas, "Specifically, you gave them pawns." The Boss says, "I'm saving the rooks for bonus day."
Friday May 17,
2019
Seventeen Pieces Of Evidence
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #moron, #elbonian
Transcript
the boss: we have seventeen pieces of evidence that you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: no, you have seventeen coincidences and a bad case of confirmation bias. dilbert: how about i prove you're a moron and see how far that gets us?
Saturday August 20,
2011
Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story
Transcript
Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.
Thursday July 12,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #supervise, #department, #secretary, #gibberish
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.
Saturday December 21,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #chess, #bishop, #rook, #friend, #queen, #uzi, #purse, #slays, #scrabble, #man
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."
Monday December 28,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #phone, #pager, #palm computer, #personal, #organizer, #wireless, #modem, #envy, #engineers, #thesaurus
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser wearing a belt with several pieces of electronic equipment attached to it. Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . I've got my cellular phone, my pager, palm computer, personal organizer, wireless modem . . ." Dilbert looks in the mirror and continues, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty much the envy of engineers everywhere . . . Looking good . . . Looking good . . ." Dogbert says, "Words escape me . . ." Dilbert takes something out of his belt and says, "Here, I'll fire up the old thesaurus."
Wednesday September 18,
1996
Tags #review 80 million lines, #computer code, #system, #probelm, #year 2000, #all zeros and ones
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert stand on a desk chair in front of a computer. Dogbert says, "Ratbert, your job is to review eighty million lines of computer code in the company's systems." Dogbert explains, "You're looking for any reference to the current year. Those pieces of code will be a problem when the year is 2000." Six months later, Ratbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I'm happy to report that the date did not show up once. In fact, it was all just zeros and ones!" Dogbert thinks, "Oops."
Friday June 12,
1998
Tags #what vendor, #too late, #indecisive dullards
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert, and Ted sitting at table with pieces of paper in front of them on desk. Ted says, "I'd like to reopen the question of what vendor we'll use, even though it's too late to change anything." Ted sitting at table while Phil, the Ruler of Heck stands over him. Phil exclaims, "I darn you to heck! You will spend an eternity with other indecisive dullards!" Dilbert and Ted at table while Phil stands next to Ted. A frightened Ted asks Phil, "Where are you taking me??!" Phil calmly replies, "Here is fine."