Scurvy Rats Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Scurvy Rats

View 1 - 10 results for scurvy rats comic strips. Discover the best "Scurvy Rats" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting pirates, #taking over agendas, #scurvy rats, #server, #virtualization

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We've had reports of 'meeting pirates,' taking over agendas and pillaging credit." Pirate says, "Yaaarg!!! I take yer document, and leave ye scurvy rats adrift!" Pirate says, "And then I invented server virtualization. Yaaarg!" The Boss says, "Wow! That was a good idea."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #susceptible, #peer, #pressure, #brewski, #rats, #beer, #hurting, #animals, #doctor

View Transcript

Transcript

A scientist points to a cage and says, "Here we have a lab rat, specially bred to be susceptible to peer pressure." The scientist holds out a beer and asks the rat, "How about a brewski?" The rat replies, "I don't drink." The scientist says, "All the cool rats drink beer." The rat replies, "Okay." The professor says, "Of course, there's more to science than just hurting animals, but frankly it's the part I like best." The rat lies on his back drinking the beer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #lab rats, #stupid, #professor, #heart, #laboratory, #escaping

View Transcript

Transcript

Rabert: Goodbye, Dogbert, I must return to the lab with the professor. Dogbert: That's stupid. Rabert: He says he loves me. That must be why he fed me so much. Dogbert: You're getting stupider. Rabert: I have to follow my heart. Dogbert: Mmm... Love causes stupidity in lab rats.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #rats, #ratbert, #cuddling, #frisbee, #ears, #appreciative, #scratch, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert stands on the desk. Ratbert says, "Forget Dogbert; I can be your new best friend!" Ratbert continues, "Rats are twice as good for cuddling and you should see me catch a frisbee!" Ratbert points to his head and says, "Here, scratch behind my ears. You'll find me most appreciative!" Dilbert says, "You sound like me on a date."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #pollution, #rats

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert stands on the armrest. Ratbert says, "It used to bother me that the air was getting polluted and unbreathable." Ratbert continues, "But I realized that rats are hardier than humans - so we'll get all you stuff after you wheeze your last breath!" Dilbert says, "I think I'll go for a walk." Ratbert says, "Hey! Why not drive?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buying car, #touch negotiator, #suggested retail price, #invisible spary, #scurvy, #tax audits, #airbag, #gravel, #lease terms, #engraved, #hood ornamnet

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Buying a car." Dilbert sits across from a car salesman's desk. The salesman says, "You're one tough negotiator." Dilbert replies, "Thanks." The salesman says, "It only took you four hours to get me all the way down to the manufacturer's suggested retail price." The salesman cries, "There's no profit left!! My family will go hungry!!" The man bawls. The salesman stops crying and says, "Sorry. I assume you want the rust inhibitor coating for only $500." Dilbert replies, "Um . . .Yeah. Rust is bad." The man jumps up and shouts, "Yes!! Ka-ching ka-ching!" The salesman says, "Sorry. We also have an invisible spray that protects against scurvy and tax audits." Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Okay." The salesman says, "Initial here if you want your airbag to be full of fresh aspen air instead of gravel." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Only $600." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "And the lease terms are engraved on this free hood ornament!" Dogbert replies, "Be glad they didn't install it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skeptics association, #rats claims, #bad experinces, #jurors, #oj simpson trial, #debunk, #hubble telescope

View Transcript

Transcript

A man in glasses and a sweatshirt jacket walks in. Dilbert says, "I'm glad the Skeptics Association sent you to debunk my rat's claims of ESP." The skeptic says, "The others don't go out much since their bad experiences as jurors on the O. J. Simpson trial." Dilbert hangs up a coat on the coatrack. Dilbert says, "Well, I'm glad you could make it." The skeptic says, "Let's hurry. I have to debunk the so-called Hubble Telescope later today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magician, #press agents, #pubilcity, #famous magician, #fired, #stayed in swear, #rats for month

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your last job was doing publicity for a famous magician. Why did you leave. Interviewee: My boss fired me after the trick where he stayed in a sewer full of rats for a month. Dilbert: I didn't hear about that. Interviewee: I forgot to tell anyone it was happening.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #buried alive, #burlap bag, #starving rats, #fix everything, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: So... how's your job going? Dilbert: It's like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats. Boss: And I'm back to not caring. Dilbert: How long will it take you to fix everything?