See How Think Comic Strips
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Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."
The Boss approaches Dilbert with a book in hand. The Boss says, "Let's see.. your defects are discussed in chapter 23." The Boss continues, "I'll give you a photocopy so you can see how to fix it yourself." As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "Books are full of information."
"I don't understand something, Liz. You told Dilbert you don't want to be physical until after marriage..." "I would expect him to be cranky around the house, yet he's quite relaxed...serene. I don't see how...unless..." "Did you discover religion?" "I think I'm Unitarian."
Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."
Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."
A woman, walking with Dilbert, says, "I like take-charge men who just say, 'C'mon, we're going someplace." Dilbert says to the woman, "C'mon, we're going to the bowling alley!" The woman says, "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard." Dilbert says, "I think I see how this works."
The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.
"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."
"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"