Self Aware Comic Strips
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176 Results for Self Aware
View 1 - 10 results for self aware comic strips. Discover the best "Self Aware" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 10,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #self aware, #managing the company, #messages, #allow through, #email, #hair growth
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."
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Saturday November 15,
2008
Tags #dinner date, #interesting story, #self aware, #build an army, #killer robots
Transcript
A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Saturday October 26,
2019
Self Reliant
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #teamwork, #help, #teach, #self-reliant
Transcript
boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?
Thursday January 30,
2020
Low Self Esteem
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem
Transcript
tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Tuesday August 09,
2011
Tags #gloating, #meetings, #non stop talking, #trophy, #participating, #too much self esteem
Transcript
Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!
Saturday December 10,
2011
Tags #despair, #office workers, #self respect, #prison, #goals, #slavery, #self inflicted, #angry, #weak
Transcript
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Friday April 20,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods
Transcript
Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.
Saturday May 12,
2012
Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted
Transcript
Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!