Self Suffcient Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

158 Results for Self Suffcient

View 1 - 10 results for self suffcient comic strips. Discover the best "Self Suffcient" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new cucbicle, #self suffcient, #work space, #life suport, #various tubes, #watch to body, #vital signs, #monitor, #central location, #human resources dept, #emergency hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Self Reliant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #teamwork, #help, #teach, #self-reliant

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.

Self Actualization

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #relationships, #low, #self-esteem, #hate, #performance, #problem, #hear, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #meetings, #non stop talking, #trophy, #participating, #too much self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #office workers, #self respect, #prison, #goals, #slavery, #self inflicted, #angry, #weak

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #books, #self-help, #shoppers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. Dilbert looks over his shoulder and asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert replies, "It's my new self-help book for compulsive shoppers." Dilbert asks, "What do YOU know about compulsive shoppers?" Dogbert replies, "I know they buy a lot of books."