Sell Now Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sell Now

View 1 - 10 results for sell now comic strips. Discover the best "Sell Now" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock, shares, timely leaks, media, value plunged, sell now, fair share price, want copy, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and three other managers. Dogbert says, "Your stock was $30 per share when I offered to buy the company, but thanks to some timely leaks to the media your value has plunged." Dogbert continues, "However, if you sell right now I'll pay the full $30 for your stock." The Boss says, "I recommend we do it." A manager hands the signed contract back to Dogbert and says, "Done. $30 per share is more than fair." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, 'per share' would have been fair. Anybody want a copy?" The Boss looks shocked.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags losers, meetings, sales personnel, sell to customers, winners sell, low quota levels, ch ching dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags south dakota, tax reasons, save money on taxes, disrupt lives, kill in sleep, sell organs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peers over his cubilce at Wally. Dilbert says, "There's a rumor the company is moving to SOuth Dakota for tax reasons." Wally hangs up his coat and says, "Do you seriously think they would disrupt the lives of thousands of employees just to save money on taxes?" Dilbert replies, "I think they'd kill us all in our sleep and sell our organs if the return on investment was good." Wally says, "Stop it. I'll be afraid to sleep in my cubicle now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales training, sell to customer, dare to be great, prove worthiness, beg

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. The speaker says, "Never sell to your customer. Make your customer sell to you." The speaker continues, "Our products are only for those who dare to be great! Make the customer explain why he is worthy." Dilbert is meeting with a customer. Dilbert says, "You heard me, Goober. Now beg for our product."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags take the chair, don't sell chairs, sell hope, hope of chairs, ship in 2 months, call and yell, buy a chair

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illegal, armed, drones, private, citizens, sell, business, technology, bribe, law

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags app store, created app, dream killer, first name, free apps, madonna, sell a million, mother, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marriage, pet ownership, sell, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize that if we stay together for seven years, we are considered married by common law?" Dogbert continues, "That means I own half of all your worldly possessions." Dogbert continues, "I plan to sell my half . . . Maybe buy some tasteful things instead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, senator, appreciate, close, vote, senate, Political, committee, Dogbert, blind, faith, system, whiskey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags garbage man, election, campaign, strategist, Win, promise, sell, foreigners, profits, parks

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man says to Dogbert, "Sure, Dogbert, I'll be your election campaign strategist." The garbage man sits at a table with Dogbert and Ratbert. The garbage man says, "You can win if you promise to sell our national parks to foreigners and share the profits." Dogbert replies, "I couldn't do that." The garbage man asks, "You couldn't sell the parks?" Dogbert replies, "I couldn't share the profits."