Semi Plausible Reason Comic Strips
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161 Results for Semi Plausible Reason
View 1 - 10 results for semi plausible reason comic strips. Discover the best "Semi Plausible Reason" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 19,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #not allowed, #eat desk, #semi plausible reason, #hate
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his computer. Catbert types, "New policy: Employees are not allowed to eat at their desks." Catbert thinks, "Because why? I need a semi-plausible reason." Catbert writes, "Because I hate you."
Tuesday August 31,
2004
Tags #don't eat money, #false hope business, #lose weight, #get rich, #semi plausible
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."
Tuesday August 07,
2012
Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy
Transcript
Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.
Monday February 14,
2011
Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment
Transcript
CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.
Thursday November 24,
2011
Tags #commerce, #service business, #unmotivated sales guy, #slides are blank, #compelling reason, #no commission work, #budget issues
Transcript
Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?
Saturday July 20,
1991
Tags #ratbert, #chihuahuas, #reason, #lesson, #evil, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert sees Ratbert lying on the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "Ratbert! What happened to you?" Ratbert sits up and replies, "My Chihuahua disguise worked. I've been taunted and chased all day by bigots who hate Chihuahuas for no reason." Ratbert says, "There's an important lesson in this." Dogbert asks, "What? Chihuahuas are evil?"
Wednesday September 16,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vegetarian, #dead, #animals, #cook, #carcinogenic, #eat, #nutritious, #question, #reason, #cult
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I don't understand why you, or anybody, would become a vegetarian." Dogbert replies, "You mean, why don't I take dead animals, cook them until they become carcinogenic, then eat them instead of something nutritious? Is that your question?" Dilbert answers, "Exactly. Is there any good reason? Have you joined a cult?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently."
Wednesday April 12,
1995
Tags #pundits, #press, #keyboard with no q, #public relations, #fiasco, #engineering solution, #graphics program, #semi colon
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."
Tuesday January 30,
1996
Tags #dogbert consulting comapny, #lead project, #bright enough, #bad attitudes, #no apparent reason, #introduce ourselves, #chummy with locals
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."
Saturday July 27,
1996
Tags #reason with idiots, #waving paw
Transcript
Dogbert sits behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on, I will not try to reason with the idiots I encounter. I will dismiss them by waving my paw and saying 'bah.'" Dilbert says, "Just because someone thinks differently from you doesn't mean he's an idiot, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Bah."