Sensitive Material Comic Strips
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31 Results for Sensitive Material
View 1 - 10 results for sensitive material comic strips. Discover the best "Sensitive Material" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 11,
2008
Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast
Transcript
Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.
Saturday March 11,
2017
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots
Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #communication, #sensitive, #feelings, #offense, #political correctness, #politically correct
Transcript
Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.
Wednesday March 14,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #whistle, #women's, #movement, #making, #sensitive, #whistling, #decades
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert and an old woman sit on a park bench. The old woman says, "Men don't whistle at me anymore." The woman continues, "I credit the women's movement for making men more sensitive to how whistling degrades women." As Dilbert gets up to leave, Dogbert asks the woman, "What's the climate like on your planet?"
Tuesday March 30,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #conquer, #earth, #bob, #powers, #hypnosis, #control, #television, #whack, #sensitive, #skin, #accountants, #calluses
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I need your help in my quest to conquer earth." Bob asks, "What do I do?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my powers of hypnosis to control everybody who sees me on television. You must whack everybody else with your mighty tail." Bob strokes his tail and asks, "Did I ever mention that I have sensitive skin?" Dogbert replies, "Start with accountants. They're soft and you can build calluses."
Friday December 01,
1995
Tags #shipped new prodcut, #tech support, #trained, #embarrasments, #monk, #training, #material, #real monk, #pig latin
Transcript
The Boss speaks to three employees in tech support. He says, "We just shipped our newest product. You folks in tech support will need to be trained so you can avoid any embarrassments." The Boss says, "We had a monk write the training material on a grain of rice. We could only afford one, so you'll have to share it." The Boss tosses a grain of rice at them and they lunge for it. As the employees fall to the floor fighting, the Boss says, "To be honest, I'm not sure we had a real monk. He wrote everything in Pig Latin."
Sunday March 24,
1996
Tags #analysis, #worked all night, #vital, #meeting, #excellent work, #alice, #backup material, #performance review cycle, #naked body threat to boss, #cheap suit, #fling, #business, #science
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."
Monday December 20,
1999
Tags #observe vp, #duck blind, #cubicle material, #subject flossing
Transcript
The boss and Asok are sitting and facing each other. The boss says: "Asok, I want you to observe our VP so we can figure out what our priorities are." The boss tells Asok :We've built a duck blind in his office using cubicle material." Asok is hiding in the duck blind covered with leaves at the top. The V.P. is at his desk flossing his teeth. Asok thinks: "10:28 A.M., the subject is flossing."
Thursday August 29,
2002
Tags #evolving, #sunlight, #sensitive, #attitude, #zit, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Hi, Bob. I haven't seen you lately." Bob responds, "I was doing some evolving." Dilbert and Bob are sitting at the kitchen table. Bob says, "I noticed that I have a zit that's sensitive to sunlight. I'm hoping it becomes an eye." Dilbert responds, "I like your attitude." Bob says, "Try to sneak up on me."
Sunday December 05,
1999
Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one
Transcript
The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."
Tuesday December 20,
2005
Tags #intermediate species, #hominid, #oyster, #light sensitive blob, #serious pearl
Transcript
"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."