Separate Issue Comic Strips
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66 Results for Separate Issue
View 1 - 10 results for separate issue comic strips. Discover the best "Separate Issue" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 12,
2014
Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed
Tags #work ethic, #analysis, #work, #gibberish, #separate issue, #secretary, #offcie, #cubicle, #science
Transcript
Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.
Friday June 10,
2011
Tags #kindness, #trick, #credibility issue, #suscpious, #boss compliments, #hostile response
Transcript
Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.
Sunday August 21,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #rings after 4pm, #caller id blocked, #ignore call, #email, #horrible issue, #hate life, #torture coworker
Transcript
Noise: Ring. Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's never good when my phone rings after 4 pm. Caller ID is blocked. Someone must know that I would ignore the call if I knew who it was. If it weren't urgent, it would be email. This must be some sort of horrible issue that will cause me to work all night. It stopped. There's still a chance that I'll be okay unless my cell phone... Noise: Bzzzz. Dilbert: GAAAA!! I hate my life! Alice: You're right. That was funny. Wally: Now I'll text him.
Thursday December 20,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #senator, #issue, #working, #real, #problems
Transcript
Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"
Monday September 28,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #demangogue, #issue, #appeals, #emotions, #blind, #prejudices, #masses, #frenzy, #national, #unmarried, #Men, #responsible, #violent, #crimes, #Pets
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a demagogue." Dogbert continues, "I'll find some issue that appeals to the emotions and blind prejudices of the masses, then I'll whip it into a media frenzy and become a national figure." Dogbert continues, "For example, unmarried men are responsible for most of our violent crimes." Dilbert replies, "That's because we tend to have pets."
Thursday February 09,
1995
Tags #fourth day, #telecommuting, #clothes useless, #struck by question, #monkeys, #beards, #discuss issue, #attendance low, #around table, #introduce
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."
Thursday January 02,
1997
Tags #million dollars, #ten thousand, #separate business cards, #value added support
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You need a million dollars but I only have authority to sign for up to ten thousand." The Boss says, "Break it into a hundred separate business cases." Dilbert says, "Thank you for your value-added management support." The Boss replies, "It was nothing."
Monday June 23,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil, #hr director, #new policy, #travel separate flights, #dangerous hobbies
Transcript
Catbert stands on the back of Wally's chair. He says, "New policy: Key employees must travel on separate flights to reduce risk." Catbert sits on Wally's head and continues, "Other employees, such as Wally, are encouraged to take up dangerous hobbies." Wally sits at a table with Alice and Dilbert eating lunch. Wally says, "I've noticed that when a new policy mentions me by name, it's never a good thing."
Tuesday July 15,
2003
Tags #writing email, #12 page description, #carpal tunnel issue, #do work, #self inflicted, #chapter, #email
Transcript
Tina is sitting at her computer. Dilbert approaches and asks, "Tina, would you...?" Tina interrupts him, "Hold on while I finish writing this e-mail." Tina says, "It's a twelve-page description of my carpal tunnel issue, and the fact that there's never enough time to do my work." Dilbert asks, "Are all of your problems self-inflicted?" Tina responds, "That's it! I'm adding a chapter about you. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!"
Wednesday September 24,
2003
Tags #3 page eamil, #clump of space, #separate long sentances, #ambling senttences, #little curvy thing, #comma
Transcript
Alice: "I got your three-page e-mail, and I brought you a gift." "It's a clump of blank space. You can use it to separate long, rambling, unrelated sentences." "Next week I'll introduce you to a little curvy thing that I call a comma."