Search Results for "seriously hound her"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #be charming, #more important, #project thwarted, #seriously hound her, #unhelpful, #woman, #application, #boss advice

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A woman says into the phone, "I'll get to your application as soon as I have nothing more important to do." Dilbert is on the other end of the line. He says, "Okay.. thank you very much." Dilbert hangs up the phone and thinks, "I just thanked someone for doing nothing." Dilbert enters The Boss' office and says, "My project is being thwarted by a woman who gets satisfaction from being unhelpful." The Boss responds, "Have you tried using your charm?" Dilbert says, "I guess I can try." The Boss replies, "Ha ha ha! Just kidding." The Boss says, "But seriously, try hounding her until she recoils in pain at the sound of your voice." Dilbert asks, "Will that work?" The Boss replies, "Sometimes the best you can do is make other people feel bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #jerk, #office workers, #unreliable, #experinced, #hound, #management

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Coworker: I'll get that information to you by Tuesday. Dilbert: You seem reliable. I'll schedule some time on Wednesday to hound you, and more time on Friday to escalate to your boss. Coworker: Are you trying to be a jerk? Dilbert: I'm experienced. It looks exactly the same.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mutt, #walk, #canin, #clod, #dog, #dummy, #pooch, #pinhead, #bowser, #blockhead, #hound, #hiney

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "This is so nice . . . Just a man and his mutt out for a walk." Dogbert says, "Mutt?!" Dogbert says, "I think of it more as a 'canine and a clod' or a 'dog and a dummy' . . . Maybe a 'pooch and a pinhead' or a 'bowser and a blockhead.'" Dilbert says, "I think that's enough." Dogbert adds, "A 'hound and a hiney.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #labor market, #own paper, #unleash hound, #broken copier

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Dilbert approaches a woman at a desk. He asks, "Our copier is broken. May I use yours?" The woman responds, "Only if you use your own paper." Dilbert says, "I just need one copy and my office is about a mile away." The woman replies, "Don't make me unleash the hound." A man wearing dog ear muffs crouches next to the woman. Dilbert asks, "That's a hound?" The woman responds, "Technically he's a web designer in a tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #management experts, #fat leaders, #favorably, #athletic ones, #donuts, #forget, #seriously

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Carol: management experts say fat readers are viewed less favorably than athletic ones, Thats why I didn't order any donuts for your meeting. The Boss: Or did you just forget to do it? Carol: I can't take you seriously looking like that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fake press relases, #new green technology, #scientist, #2040 power home, #refrigerator door, #science

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Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #annoyance, #status upadte, #multitask, #one task, #doubling rate of failure, #useless blob of carbon

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Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #friendship, #laziness, #wing man, #for laziness, #productivity retardant, #high priority, #relationships

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Carol: And then I need you to... Asok: Excuse me. Wally is needed elsewhere to do something unspecified that has an implied high priority. Carol: Seriously? You have a wingman for laziness? Wally: I think of him as a productivity retardant.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #salutations, #sven, #elbonia, #handshake, #kiss mitten, #greetings, #foreigner

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Wally: This is Sven, our biggest customer from Elbonia. Whoa! No handshake. That's an insult. The first time you meed an Elbonian you kiss his mitten. Elbonian: Seriously? Wally: Oh, we're just getting started.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #frog, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #kiss, #princess, #props, #fool, #lady di, #margaritas, #Dilbert, #love, #witch

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The caption says, "Dilbert needs a kiss from a princess to remove the frog curse." Dilbert the Frog says to Dogbert, "It's hopeless . . ." Dogbert opens the closet door and says, "There's one chance, but we'll need some props." Dilbert is wearing a crown and a fake nose. Dilbert asks, "You seriously think this will fool Lady Di?" Dogbert replies, "I'd wait until she's had a few margaritas."