Shady Innocent People Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for shady innocent people comic strips. Discover the best "Shady Innocent People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

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Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #judge, #Dogbert, #trial, #alice, #temp worker, #Wally, #jury

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Dogbert says to the members of a jury, "Yes, my client did accidentally slay a 'temp' worker . . . Emphasis on 'TEMP.'" Dogbert asks, "But who among us can say they haven't slain innocent people when the situation called for it?" The judge replies, "I can." Dogbert says, "Well, great . . . So much for getting a fair trial."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #feel guilty, #scam, #money, #smarter, #arrogance, #good system

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Dilbert: Do you ever feel guilty for scamming innocent people out of their money? Dogbert: "No." "I only scam people who would do the same to me if they were just smarter." Dilbert: "So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?" Dogbert: "It's a good system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #defendant, #innocent, #money, #revenge

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the jury box. Dogbert yells, "Stop the trial!! Stop the trial!! The defendant is innocent!!" Dogbert says, "I'M the one who killed those people. I did it for love and for money and revenge!!" Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Well, not really, but I always wanted to say that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #hate everyone, #entire world, #weasels, #wide eyed, #innocent child, #unconditionally, #tiny wesels

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Today I realized I hate everyone in the entire world." Dilbert continues, "I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too." Dogbert asks, "How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?" Dilbert responds, "Tiny weasels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #deliver bad news, #meet goals, #fire an engineer, #sales people, #immoral, #punish engineers, #hole puncher

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The boss is walking and thinking, "Sometimes a manager must deliver bad news." The boss, behind Dilbert, thinks, "Luckily I enjoy it." The boss says, "Our sales force failed to meet their goals." The boss continues, "So I have to fire an engineer to reduce expenses." Dilbert says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You should fire the incompetent sales people!" Dilber continues, "It's immoral to punish innocent engineers for the sins of sales people! I will fight this all the way!" The boss says, "I'm firing Ted. Not you." Dilbert says, "Fair enough. Can you wait until I borrow his hole puncher?"

Tall People Earn More

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Tall People Earn More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #anger, #discrimination, #fairness, #height, #money, #salary, #wages, #Women, #tall people, #short people, #performance reviews, #height accordingly, #female workers

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CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.

The Problem Is People

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The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

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Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

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Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.