Shard Filled Donuts Comic Strips
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60 Results for Shard Filled Donuts
View 1 - 10 results for shard filled donuts comic strips. Discover the best "Shard Filled Donuts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 11,
2004
Tags #pleasure seeking orons, #shard filled donuts, #delicious, #40 thousand caloire
Transcript
"My company is selling gigantic, shard-filled doughnuts with forty thousand calories apiece." "It's based on Dogbert's theory that people are pleasure-seeking morons." "How does it taste?" "Delicious! I have one for you strapped to my car"
Saturday November 13,
2004
Tags #immoral to sell, #40 thousand, #shard filled donuts, #forcing anyone, #irrestibibly delcious
Transcript
Dilbert: "Is it immoral for my company to sell forty-thousand calorie, shard-filled doughnuts?" Dogbert: "You're not forcing anyone to eat them; you're just making them irresistibly delicious." Dilbert: "How's that different?" Dogbert: "Bah!"
Tuesday November 09,
2004
Tags #warning lables, #on donuts, #high calorie donuts, #will kill you, #tastes great, #choked to death
Transcript
The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.
Friday November 12,
2004
Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot
Transcript
"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."
Friday May 03,
1991
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #department, #machines, #filled, #bird, #bobs, #head, #three, #birds, #job
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've decided to replace your department with machines." The Boss points to a toy on the desk and says, "Your job will be filled by this little bird that bobs his head up and down." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then I said 'Ha! It would take at least THREE of those birds to do MY job!"
Tuesday December 03,
1991
Tags #language, #Dilbert, #Wally, #zimbu, #zoo, #engineer, #cafeteria, #donuts, #skills, #staff, #meeting, #monkey
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."
Wednesday January 01,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #intimidation, #respect, #humans, #elf magic, #magic, #elves, #verbal, #bozo, #chubby, #karl, #donuts, #shut up
Transcript
An elf says to three other elves, "The humans are not afraid of our elf magic. We must gain their respect through verbal intimidation." Dilbert sits at a table with a box of donuts and a glass of milk in front of him. The elves shout, "Hey, Bozo! We're talking to you, Chubby!" The elves walk away with donuts around their bodies. An elf says, "And then Karl says 'Do you think you're going to eat ALL of those donuts?'" Karl thinks, "Shut up."
Tuesday September 01,
1992
Tags #rivers, #trees, #management, #start, #trust-building, #exercise, #minute, #decide, #eat, #donuts, #co-worker, #bear, #donut, #committee, #Wally, #alice
Transcript
An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "We'll start with a trust-building exercise." The instructor points to a person dangling by a rope over a bear and a plate of donuts. The instructor says, "You have one minute to decide to eat these donuts or to save your co-worker from the bear." Alice asks, "Okay, who wants to be on the donut option working committee?" Wally says, "Oops . . . Problem solved."
Thursday February 04,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #billion, #dollars, #earnings, #projections, #level, #donuts, #meetings
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."
Friday April 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts
Transcript
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."